116 - An Interview with my Mama
- May is for Mamas -
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Show Notes:
My mom is the kindest wisest, warmest, funniest woman I know. It is really an honor to have her as a mom. Every time I've needed advice or have felt misunderstood or have been confused, she is the first person I call. She's so trustworthy. She's the best listener in the world, and every time I ask for advice, it seems like she always has the exact words I need to hear.
The world needs more people like my mom, and today I get to share her with you. I hope you enjoy the last May is for Mamas episode: an interview with my very own mama.
For the full episode, hit play above or read through it below!
Nancy: Hi mom! Welcome to the Work and Play Podcast. I'm so glad you're here.
Mama: Thank You, Nancy. I am honored beyond words.
Nancy: Well, I know it's going to be such a treat for anybody who gets still listen to this episode, but I'm personally most excited to have this conversation recorded for no one other than my own children, because I know you and I know your heart, and I know the wisdom that you bring. So as much as I can in the next 30 minutes, I want to glean as much motherly wisdom as possible from you. So let's start by just you sharing a little bit about you and your story, your upbringing, and the things just that stood out to you from your own parents that shaped you into the mother that you are.
Mama: All righty then. Well, I will say that I've been thinking a lot about this, and before I even knew that you were going to ask this, I thought, you know, my grandparents and my mother, my grandmothers, since this is mother's day, really my grandmothers and my mother are the ones that I think about most as an adult and raising my children. And it's interesting because my mother's mother, we called her granny, she didn't do much anything. She just, I just remember her sitting there, you know, and being there, I loved it. My other grandmother, daddy's mother, she was a doer. I mean, gardener, just never sat down when we visited. She'd get up and fix country ham and eggs and all that. I just remember, you know, she was just a doer. And then my mama, she was just great because she was such a hang loose mother. There were five of us and it was kind of like, the house was always messy. She didn't care. She had people come over, she got the job done. I mean, we turned out great, but she just was just a very low-key hang loose person. So I think about how I am and I'm like, you know, I kind of adapt or adapt to, or adopt all of these things in my philosophy of being a mother and a grandmother, because I don't want to get too uptight about everything and like have to do everything all the time, even though that used to be my nature, but it's not anymore because I've decided I want to give myself freedom to be who I am. And if I want to take a nap, I'm going to take a nap. And if I want to read a book, I'm gonna read a book, but then I have this drive in me to want to do more.
Nancy: Yep. You do. I see both of those in you. You're very restful, very hang loose. The mess will get done in a minute, let me just go lay down for a minute. But then also when you want to get things done, it's time. It's time to move. Absolutely.
Mama: Absolutely. And you know, you kind of, I think if you feel guilty about it, you've kind of justified that by the people who raised you. So I'm thinking, okay, if I'm being this way, Hey Mama Dot would've been that way. Yeah. And so it's like, you just have to, my main message is to be who you are deep down, go deep down and see who you are and don't try to compare yourself to everybody else who's doing everything in the world, because at one time I almost do think I tried to do everything in the world and I don't know that that's all that great, but I, I didn't have a whole lot of choice.
Nancy: Right.
Mama: You know, when y’all were little, because you were little and you were working and I was working, and I worked hard. Yes. We were in a very successful business, Amway business. And I traveled a lot. And so I learned a lot from that because I, I like realized that, you know, it was for the business, but a lot of times I didn't want to go, even though there were wonderful places. Yeah. I just wanted to be home with y'all. So I'm kind of giving myself the freedom now to be home.
Nancy: Yeah. Be true to who you are.
Mama: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
Nancy: What Were some of your favorite memories growing up and why are they significant to you?
Mama: First thing that comes to my mind is I grew up in a small town in North Carolina. You know, probably what I'm going to say…
Nancy: Well, I've been guessing what you're going to say, but I just want you to say whatever comes to your mind.
Mama: Powell Street is it.
Nancy: Also, side note, I always got words so mixed up as a child. And she said, Pile St. Pile, Pile Street for the longest time, a I always thought it was Pile.
Mama: No way? You thought it was Powell like Pile.
Nancy: Yes. I thought it was pile street and it's Powell, P O W E L L.
Mama: The way I say it, in Sampson County, North Carolina it’s Pa-ll street.
Nancy: It wasn't until, as an adult, I was like, oh, that is not the street. I thought it was okay. Continue.
Mama: Honestly, if there ever was a ideal place to live, it was there. You know, there were five of us, five children, but the two of us older children, me and my older sister grew up there with all our friends. You know, nobody locked doors. Nobody had cell phones. Nobody texted. It was just you.
Mama: You didn't even have TV. Did you? We did have a TV, But I remember when color came on and we didn't even have it at our house, but at my aunt's house. We would go on Sunday night, a black and white TV and watch the wonderful world of color on Walt Disney would come on that peacock. Anyway, I have a million things I could go back and say, but mainly the thing about growing up on Powell Street is we had a lot of friends on that little street and very little traffic. And it was just, you know, one phone in the house.
Nancy: And how many numbers were on your phone?
Mama: One. What do you mean one number?
Nancy: Oh, wasn't it just like three, three, seven, two or something like that?
Mama: Oh, three, three, seven one. Good Memory. Look at me. But then we got the five, nine, two. Yeah. But then it was the area code.
Nancy: You’re giving out Your childhood number to everybody who's listening. I feel bad for whoever has this phone number now. We just won't give out the area code. It'll be fine.
Mama: Actually, my sister still has it. Cause we didn't want to let it go.
Nancy: Oh, there you go. If anyone wants to call Aunt Susan!
Mama: Aunt Susan is not going to answer that phone. Cause it's just a landline. So if you want to talk to Susan, don’t call that number.
Nancy: So your memories that you're most fond of is just living a slow life. Just being on that street, walking to school—You know what that does, for me? It takes a lot of pressure off of me because I think right now, right now moms have this pressure to do so much for their kids. Oh, do activities, create things, take them to the museum. I mean, I'm constantly juggling homeschooling for a few days a week, but also on the days I just feel this pressure to do so much for my kids and entertain them. And it's refreshing to me to hear.
Mama: This conversation’s good for you because I mean, it's good for me, but it's like, I don't think we've talked about it too much. Honestly, we never went anywhere. We never went out to eat, you know, it was like restaurants weren't a big deal then. And we would just play with friends at their houses and we have the best memories of like playing, seriously, beauty parlor and things like that, you know, in the neighborhood and we'd play in our backyard. It was just home. Yeah. It was home. And we'd walk to school, come home. And just, it was a very slow life, very simple life.
Nancy: Yeah. That's just—it relieves me. I think for somebody who's listening, they probably are feeling the same thing I am just because you feel like you see that you have to do so much for your kids. Do these sensory bins, do these activities, take them to the zoo, take them to the museum. And those things are good and fun and we do those things, but it's also okay to just let your kids use their imagination and be home and live a slow life. And the fact that those are your favorite memories—that’s just sweet to, to kind of pause and think about that.
Mama: Yes. And I will say, you know, in high school I was far more active, but I don't even remember mama taking us to places. I mean, we got there, you know, but it wasn't like, I don't know how it got there, but she, you know, I was in the band majorette just very active, but it wasn't like we were deprived, but we, I just remember the slow life. And Mama just didn’t—that wasn't going to be her life. I mean, she was very dedicated to us, but like I said, she was hanging loose and, you know one thing I remember—she never helped us with homework. Yeah. Never helped us with homework.
Nancy: Well, I don't really remember you helping me with homework, no offense.
Mama: Good! No.
Nancy: I remember doing a lot of that by myself.
Mama: Very good. I'm glad for that because you know, you can kind of, I mean, you can really go overboard helping your kids so that they can be the best. And I did that to a degree, you know? So I don't know, you just do the best you can, you know?
Nancy: That’s right.
Mama: You do the best you can, you don't compare and you don't, you learn to enjoy your life as well.
Nancy: So tell us about when you became a mom.
Mama: I was 30 years old when Mary Lindsay was born.
Nancy: That's pretty old for your generation, to have kids. Right?
Mama: Yeah, it was.
Nancy: Do you feel like a lot of your friends were having kids before you?
Mama: Yeah. In a way, but it was like, we were really, really, really busy in our business. And so I just started thinking about it around 29. Fortunately, you know, the Lord blessed us.
Nancy: So, you have my big sister, Mary Lindsay at 30…
Mama: Then I had your brother, Johnny, at 33 and you at 35. Yep.
Nancy: And you had a miscarriage at some point.
Mama: Yeah I did. The first, before Mary Lindsay. Yeah. That was pretty devastating. Yeah. Very—you know any miscarriage is.
Nancy: I remember you telling me it just made you want a family.
Mama: Yeah. At that point I was just like, yeah. I feel like I should start a family and all, but it was like, that really made me want one. Yeah. It was very sad.
Nancy: So how was it juggling being so busy in the business and having three young kids? Cause that's like where I am right now. Obviously I don't have the business that you had and I've let go of my business and I'm just working, I'm still working, but..
Mama: You are. Let me tell y'all, this girl has got a full schedule and I'm just so proud of her. But having three small children is not easy. And there you are with this baby on the way—I’m so excited.
Nancy: Very pregnant, just to get a visual: mom and I are standing in this podcast closet. It's so hot. We're so sweaty and I'm very pregnant, so we're going to pick this thing up and keep answering some questions here. We're both bare footed in our little, you've got a little summer dress on, I've got a tank top and shorts, but yeah, it's, it's busy. It's busy.
Mama: It is. And I will say, even Mary Lindsay has reminded me this a time or two, but we were like diamonds, so to speak, in the business. Had a good income before even children were born. So I was always able to have help. Housekeeping, babysitters and all. But I remember I got rid of my babysitter, nanny, when you were like 12 months old. Because I felt like I was relying on her too much and it was, she was great, and I hated to say goodbye, but I was like, I'm making myself take care of these children because I'm going to regret this. If you have somebody there, you're going to let them take care of your children.
Then you got to be, depending on your nature, your personality, that might be your favorite thing in the world is to not take care of your children. There's nothing wrong with that. Right. You don't have to be somebody that you aren’t.
Nancy: Yeah. And one thing I talk a lot about too is just different seasons of your life. And there are seasons seasons. I feel like the Lord asks us to do hard things or puts it on our heart to do something that doesn't necessarily make sense. Like it's harder to let go of your nanny so that you can be home with your kids. That was like a hard choice. But you knew that for that season, you didn't want to miss that season and you wanted to be all in.
Mama: Yes, Absolutely. Cause I knew, you know, this is the thing you know about children at any age. I think one thing is just to be there and be present as much as you can. And if you have to be forced to do that, a lot of people don't have that luxury of being able to be home. They have to go into work.
Nancy: Absolutely. Yep.
Mama: Very quite aware of that. And that is totally wonderful. You just give it all you can, when you can. You do the best you can.
Nancy: You do the best you can with that season, and that might not be forever.
Mama: Yes, yes, absolutely.
Nancy: It might be a long time. You just don't know.
Mama: Yeah. You don’t, you don't. But you know, we traveled a lot and sometimes y'all went with us. Which was my favorite thing. But sometimes you didn't go with us and you know, that was hard. That was a lot of work. It's a lot of work to travel. Yes.
Nancy: And you're telling me it's exhausting. I have to limit the trips. Not for the amount of trips we want to take, but just because of my sanity.
Mama: Packing and unpacking, all the things you got to remember now it's a lot. It is a lot. But anyway, you know, I think one time you said, is there anything you do different? And I really thought, you know, I have this great comforting philosophy of “Your life is like how God plans it to be.” And if you really feel like you should have done something different, just get over that and think, no, this was how God planned it. And I'm just going to embrace how I did everything.
Nancy: I heard this woman share recently. How a lot of times we think we're on a detour like this isn't plan A, we're on plan B. We're trying to figure out how to get back to plan A and God always allows our lives to be Plan A. The detour is the road. Like we should never feel like we're missing it or that we're on plan B trying to get back to the plan A. But the detour is the road, like that is the path that we should be on. And if we can just rest in that and maybe it's not what we thought it would be. Maybe it's not how we imagined it, but this is actually the story He's written for us. There's so much comfort in that. One of my favorite things that you say, this is like a thing that I will say to my kids forever is: make a decision and then make it the right one.
Mama: Absolutely.
Nancy: And I love that philosophy because it's hard when you're struggling between deciding what to do, what's right, what's wrong. I mean, we can get so overwhelmed and caught up in "what’s the right thing.” What's God's will, what is this? What is that? And I love that because you just say, make a decision and then make it the right one. You get to choose to be okay with that decision or that path for your life.
And at the time, a lot of times, it won't feel right. And that's what you just have to just risk. And like I did the best I could. Right. You know, I made the decision of what I should and you know, a lot of times you go, “I wish I'd done this.” That's natural, but still you have to look at it—you thought it through, it's plan A, it’s what God has in mind.
Nancy: I think it's more about the way that you show up daily than it is about maybe the big decisions that you make. Yeah. And be a present, just being present. Whether you're a doer like Grandma Nance or whether you're not so much a doer like Granny, or just sitting around, you know, we're all made so differently. We have different personalities. We can all, you know, I'm more in the doer category and more grim in category. I love to be busy, love to do. And don't like to sit around, get antsy. That's just how I am. And I can learn a lot from Granny and Mama Dot, and being more hang loose. And I think anyone who's sitting around can learn a lot from the doers too. We can all learn from each other and be sharpened, but the most important thing is that we're present. Right. And we to keep learning and we stay humble.
Mama: It's good to do stuff. You know? It's like, you can live a life of guilt. You can live a life of frustration if you're doing too much, then if you're not doing it enough for whatever, you can live a life of guilt. Yeah. And that's what you just got to let go, you got to be who you are and just claim the Lord's grace and be at peace with that. Cause you really can't make yourself somebody that you're not, you can try to. And just don't compare yourself to others. I think when I take your children to preschool, sometimes I'll look at these precious little moms there and I'm thinking I hope they're true to themselves. I mean, I'm because I was there taking y'all to preschool. If there were, if I was room mother, party, go to field trips, you name it. It was exhausting. And then we had the business and then I was traveling and you know, I don't know. I don't, I mean, I did a lot. Yeah. But it was exhausting. Yeah, it is. And so I wouldn't change it. Right. But looking back, I'm like, Hmm. I might not have been so intense.
Nancy: To exhaust yourself and wear yourself out all the time. Right. That's good. I can, I can receive that a little bit. Thank you. Yes. Don't have to volunteer for every little thing.
What are some of the most favorite memories or things that you're like really proud of that we did as a family that you remember from like my childhood or me as a teenager or as I was growing up, what are the things that you look back? And you're like, man, I did that right? Like we did that right.
Mama: You know, we lived in a wonderful home and I think of, you know, just trips, we took a lot of trips. Yeah. We were able to yep. It's part of our business that also I made it happen. Yeah. For a lot of things. And there were wonderful trips and trips, like I said, are a lot of work you're not, not, but they really do build great memories. We went to Caribbean in different places, Hawaii, but you know, as growing up, I remember we went to the mountains with my daddy and mama, you know, all of us. We love the mountains. We'd stop on the side of the road and have picnics.
Nancy: Didn't you have like five kids in your family, plus your mom and your dad and fit all of y'all in like a little car? Weren't you all just squeezed in? Three of you in the front seat, three of you in the backseat?
Mama: No, it would be five of us, so four in the backseat, three in the front seat.
Nancy: Plus your luggage in the trunk. I don't even know how you packed for trip like that!
Mama: We didn’t either. I'm not kidding. We did ended up having a station wagon at some point, but I do remember driving his cars, but we'd go to the mountains. We'd all say, go to the beach every year. Yeah. And those are great memories, but it's like, we got, I'm talking about my family growing up as far as our family, you and et cetera, we would go on nice trips. But I also have great memories of us being at our home. I remember snows. I'm a snow lover, y’all, in case you didn't know. It was just snow obsessed. Yes. And wow. That was good. Snow memories there. And then also Christmas, birthdays—I’ve just kind of gone overboard.
Nancy: One thing that I love about my mom is she loves to celebrate people and birthdays are big. They were always big in our homes.
And I have always loved that because it just makes you feel so special. Yeah. You don't have to go anywhere to do anything. Just celebrate it. We did the birthdays and we did Christmas today. And I'm glad for that because I think they're just great memories and traditions, things like that. Yeah.
So now that we're grown up and we all have our own kids and your grandma now, Grandma Dee. What's your favorite thing about being a grandma?
Mama: Oh man. I don't know. Just the grandchildren.
Nancy: Yes. The grandchildren. How many grandchildren do you have?
Mama: I have 12, including baby 12, including this one. That's crazy. That's a lot of grandchildren.
Nancy: Well, Sissy has six of them.
Mama: Right, I have two teenage boys up in Pennsylvania and then I've got six that live nearby in Tennessee. And then your three, soon to be four. Yeah. And I am so blessed. So blessed. And I think what it is is I'm not exhausted taking care of grandchildren. I mean, I can be, and I have been, as a matter of fact, I took a nap before this podcast.
Nancy: True story.
Mama: But you know, you're just not as in demand as you were, but it's like, y'all, I'm going to be 70 on Friday. I'm proud of it. I thought I would just tell you all that. I'm like very proud of that. I'm very happy to be 70 and very blessed and just, you know, I don't have to give it everything I used to. I can't give it everything I used to.
Nancy: Yeah. That's true, and that's okay.
Mama: All my friends say, we go, oh, can you get those grandchildren, man? That's what we did when we were young. I said, isn't that the truth? Right? So I'll look at you. Your young age, being pregnant and yet you don't seem to get tired.
Nancy: Oh, I do get tired.
Mama: I know you do. Yeah, you do.
Nancy: But yeah, no, there's, I think obviously a difference in age and energy and that's like the beauty of it and that's how I made it. And I know that my kids love being around you because of your slower pace and your calm demeanor. And they just love being with grandma Deedee, hanging out with you, you know.
Mama: Thank you so much because I will say you have to, you have to rush sort of and get in the car. We're going to school. We're going to church, you know, come on, get in and things like that. And like, I'm like, just take your time. Let's go up the stairs, take her bath.
Nancy: And I'm like, grandma, It’s bedtime! Let's go!
Mama: But it's, it's like, you know, I'm aware of that.
Nancy: Yeah. And I just, you also just see the value in not rushing. And I just read this book, the Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. Hmm. And it is, it's really how Jesus was when he time with people. He wasn't rushed. He would really take time with people, and I think that that's what you do. And I think, I mean, as moms we have to rush, like you said, there's sometimes there's no choice. It's part of our job to teach our kids time boundaries and that they can't take their sweet time doing everything that they want to do. That's not life. That's not reality. And at the same time we can learn from a slower pace and maybe allotting a little bit more time so that we're not rushed all the time.
Mama: Give yourself an earlier start. You know, so you're not rushing. But Nancy, I remember this about you, when you would get in and out of a car. I cannot tell you how slow you were.
Nancy: At what age?
Mama: A year and a half, you know, you were able to climb up in the car too, but it was like you were the slowest, most carefree, non-hurried child.
Nancy: I kind of remember being that way as a child. My goodness, I tell Will all the time I was so aloof. Like I was not observant. I just was very aloof as a child.
Mama: But it was, it was just hilarious. Cute. But honestly you had no timeframe as far, I remember just getting in and out of the car and I thought to myself, I'm like, I'm going to tell her this one day. Here I am!
Nancy: Well, I believe that. And I see it in my children.
Mama: I mean, I really think most children are like that probably.
Nancy: Okay, well let's close with you just sharing some advice. Do you have any pieces of advice for moms listening? You've already given so much good advice, but…
Mama: Well, there are a couple of things and I've said this before. One is seriously dig deep as to who your core person is, how God has made you and try to be true to that. And it's not always easy because I think, you know, this day in time, you, you know, just see what others are doing so much and you feel like you're short on that. But if you can possibly just know that how you are as the way you're supposed to be, and that's the way you're supposed to be for your children. And if you're supposed to be more relaxed and not volunteering about everything and you have that choice, be that way, and then try not to feel guilty or like you're falling short. So in a nut shell, don't compare yourself to other people. And the other thing I see is I am able to do this and I know other people my age love it, but I'm talking about, you know, social media. And I'm not on Facebook and I don't participate in Instagram, I look at pictures sometimes, but I'm just not a real technical-technology person.
Nancy: Really? Was that word again?
Mama: I do know that word. But I'm, I I'm just not, and I don't want to be. But my two sisters are school teachers, you know, and they have to be in the computer world and know all that stuff. And so I'm very thankful I don’t. People with businesses like you, you have to be, it's the way you keep up. And you know, it's, I'm looking at you and all your things you're teaching people on these photos on your Instagram and I'm like, wow, I'm impressed. But I don't even know what you're doing. My photos are all in boxes in my garage. Film photos, you know what I mean? Not all of them, but anyway, I do think there's a bit of freedom that I have found in my own, whether it's you're young, you're older, anything is not to be caught up in all of that. Facebook, Instagram, whatever it is you do, do it with a purpose. Yeah. Now you take off com and again, from Instagram.
Nancy: Yep, and I love what you're saying. Cause I think even when you said some people have to your school teachers or your job is online and I've even come to just start challenging that kind of thinking within myself, because I've said that for so many years and running a photography business, it’s definitely a marketing tool for sure. But do we really have to? Or is that just something we're telling ourselves? You know, like I'm going to, I do take off a week every month, but I'm about to take off five months. I don't know if I told you that I'm going to take off five or six months of social media.
Mama: I didn't know social media! Yeah, I thought you meant just staying home with the baby.
Nancy: Yeah. Just a big Instagram break. Just not going to do anything.
Mama: And y'all need to tune in to how she is about that, you know, like afterwards. Okay.
Nancy: Yeah. I'll come back. I'll report back in the new year. I'm basically going to have a baby and then be like peace out. And then I'll come back and be like, here's my six month old child, you know? But I think, I just feel like we need to start asking ourselves those questions. What is the best thing for my family? What is the best thing for my brain? My mind? Is it sucking me into too much comparison. We all deal with that, but what can I actually do about it? I think we tell ourselves we can't live without it. And I think we can live with that. I think we have a lot more control than we think.
Mama: Well, you know, for instance, you know, Chip and Joanna Gaines, you know, they had that restaurant and they have these things built beside each restaurant seat where it was like a little pocket built in the wall that people would put their cell phones when they sat down to eat.
Nancy: Now I haven't heard about that, but you know what? That is the thing. I think we're technology, you know, even just hearing you talk, it's funny, this conversation has gone this way, but here you talk about growing up on Powell Street. One goes back to Powell Street, one phone, four phone numbers, a black and white television that you rarely watch. When you did watch it though, it was like an event that you experienced as a family. It wasn't this family that we all have our own screens and we're divided and on them all the time, it's just, it's alarming how quickly technology has developed from your generation to mine. And it's even more alarming to think about how it's going to be for our kids.
So I think we have to, as mothers and women, we have to be very in tune to what it's doing to our quality of life and our families. And that's why I just am starting to challenge things in my own thinking in my own life. Like, just because everyone else is this way. Does that mean that I have to be this way? No, because I look at you and you're just as content as you can be and happy as you can be in who you are and you don't compare yourself and you live a very fulfilled life. Right.
Mama: And Everybody my age isn't that way necessarily. I'm not saying I'm great. I'm just saying, this is the best thing for me. And what I love, it gives me sort of power or some sort of a peace, peace and power where, you know, feel like I have to know everything about everybody doing everything. And I do know there are people, friends of mine sometimes, or people that I observe, they're on their phone. And they don't realize how much they're on their phone.
Nancy: I'm sure that could be said about me, too. Well, it could be said about any of us right now. Yeah.
Mama: Anyone. Because it's like, it is very it's habit forming. Yeah. Addicting in a way. Absolutely. But also I think for mothers, it's an escape in a way. Yeah. I think they are there with their children. They're like, I want to talk to my friends, I wanna see what my friends are doing, you know, I want to post something I want to, you know, it's, I think it's an escape. And it's also a friend in a way, you know, you, your phone is like your interaction with friends and I think you, it's not a good interaction. I don't think it's necessarily real or genuine as far as what's on social media.
Nancy: And I think I look at it as, okay, this is a tool in my life. Is it bringing me good? Or is it not? And when I'm producing content and I'm using it to actually build my work and make an income, it's actually really fulfilling. I feel like I'm using the tool.
Like it should be used, but there are definitely like stints of, in my life where I'm just consuming all the content. And then that's when you just are scrolling and you're comparing and I'm not putting stuff out there. I think God made us to create, He made us to create and consume. But I think that we want to be more creators than we are consumers and social media, if you're consuming way more than you're creating it. I think that's when it starts to Be.
Mama: That is a good measure to follow. Yeah. Because it's a good thing. I don't want to knock phones. I mean, look at it, mercy. Just think about, we didn't have them at all. We were fine growing up. Totally fine. But you know, the safety factor, you know, traveling, driving by yourself, you mean to have a phone it's nice now, but it wasn't even thought of back then. You know?
Nancy: I just think it's so important for anyone listening, just for us to pause and realize this has all happened in a generation and what is happening here and what do we really have control over?
And the wisdom of my mother is saying to pause, be true to yourself. And if that's not good for you, set new boundaries or let go of it, or do whatever you can in your season of life to be the healthiest version of yourself so that you can be true to yourself.
Mama: Just be aware. Yeah. I think that’s the main thing, because the whole world's doing it. I think if you're aware and you're just like, okay, I am on my phone and not paying attention to my children. Like I should be then, you know, that's kind of a fun little goal every day to say, how much can I put this phone away right now? Right.
Nancy: Do a little Chip and Joanna box in your own house.
Mama: See? Something like that. Exactly.
Nancy: We’ll call it the Debby Box, the Grandma Deedee box.
Mama: Yes, do that. I would love to take credit, but just remember Chip and Joanna.
Nancy: Well let’s finish with a few fun questions. What is a book you were loving?
Mama: Okay. Well, I am a reader now.
Nancy: Used to not be.
Mama: I tell you, y'all don't even know the difference. I'm a different person. I've got two different lives.
Nancy: You do actually.
Mama: My life when I was in the business and all that. And so now I'm not in that business anymore and it's just like, I love to read now, I read, maybe too much. Kristen Hannah, the books, the Nightingale and The Four Winds.
Nancy: And I introduced her to you? Yes, I'm so proud of that. Okay.
Mama: I think you should be, because I love her. Okay. And I don't know, I’ll just find books.
Nancy: Beverly Lewis?
Mama: Oh yeah, like I was getting ready—Yeah, my amish books. Yeah. Oh yeah. Beverly Lewis. Yes. I am an amish aficionado.
Nancy: She knows so much about Amish culture. It is so weird and so hilarious.
Mama: But it is just fascinating to me. This is the Amish are a fascinating group. They are, they are, you know, they got some things right, they got some things wrong. That's true.
Nancy: Don't we all.
Mama: Look, Nancy, we're in this room and it is getting hot, getting hotter, but I'm fine. But look, the Amish people, they live like this all the time.
Nancy: See, this is how your brain works. You just think, just pretend like I'm Amish right now.
Mama: I told your children today, I said, the Amish don't have air conditioning. Cause Millie was saying she was so hot. And she's like, “don’t!” Anyway, that's not the point. I love Amish books. And thank you for asking because that needed to make its way into this podcast.
Nancy: Yes. What about a product that you're loving? Anything.
Mama: I’m not really big into products, but I will say the one thing that jumps out to me is my Pond's cold cream and moisturizer.
Nancy: And where do you buy this Pond’s cold cream?
Mama: Walgreens. There are about a bazillion products is out there, and I get that. It does the trick!
Nancy: I know, oh I love you mom.
Mama: Well if you looked at me you might think, well, maybe it doesn’t.
Nancy: I had a feeling you were going to say Pond's cold cream. And that just puts you in like an ultra grandmotherly category and I love it so much.
Nancy: How do you maintain a healthy soul in a fulfilling life?
Mama: I would say the top thing would be gratitude. Just always pointing everything to the Lord, knowing his blessings from Him and being aware of just the smallest things. My daddy was so good about that because we had a pond in our backyard and we would look out there and there would be fog on it in the winter. And he said, I want y'all to appreciate this because a lot of people in this world don't get to experience this every day like we do. And you know, just being aware of, being thankful for just every single thing. Yeah. Health, you know, children, even the hard things, you know, being thankful you can do them. Yeah.
Nancy: I heard someone say recently you might have a hard day or you might be having a really rough season. You might have it really bad right now, but there's always someone who has it worse off. Always. Even if you're fighting something horrendous in your life, there's always, there's always something you can find to be thankful for. Cause there's always someone who's had it worse or has it worse than you, and just to keep that perspective in your mind.
Mama: I think a lot of times too, is appreciating the things when everything's good. Yes. You know, just not being, I mean, just a pretty day. Flowers, you know? I mean, I’m saying this and it's not like I do it all the time, but just sometimes when I go to the grocery store, I'm thinking, look at all the stuff we have. Yeah. I'm not trying to be like, all wonderful. But I just do think gratitude is very important. I hear somebody calling you.
Nancy: I know, I think Beaufort just woke up, which is perfect.
Mama: I said, Nancy, do your kids know where know where you are? One of them is asleep and the two are watching movie. This was when we did it. She goes, I'm not sure if they do or not, but we're going to make this work! But we're locked in this closet so, they'll find us.
Nancy: Oh mom, thank you. I love you.
Mama: Yes, I’m going to hug you right here. I love you, too. This was wonderful.
Nancy: Happy Mother’s Day mom, happy 70th birthday month, and thank you for being an honored guest.
Mama: I really do. I feel very honored and thank you. Love you.
Nancy: I love you.
