My Journey with Baby Ray - Part 3
Two weeks from today. Is this real? Really, it could happen today, or 3 weeks from today… it’s up to baby at this point! Only the Lord knows when he or she will arrive!
This past weekend was a big finish line for me: I finished planning my maternity leave with my team, I photographed my last wedding at 9 months pregnant, and the new hospital where I’ll be delivering had their grand opening. Mother’s Day was sweet in SO many ways! I had crossed those major finish lines. Not only did I cry my eyes out in church because of God’s goodness to me, I felt such relief. So many things I wanted to accomplish came to pass, and here I sit – two weeks from my due date.
Don’t get me wrong – we still have a ways to go! The nursery isn’t done. I still have a lot of work to accomplish before officially going on maternity leave on Friday. My house still needs to be cleared of lots of clutter. We apparently need to go on lots of dates, take lots of naps, and go to the movies. I have to finish the design for my new website. I have to have a few more wrap-up phone chats, meetings, and appointments. But you know what? I feel peace, and I’m so grateful for the season that is just around the corner.
My Journey with Baby Ray in pregnancy is almost over, and the real journey is about to begin! It’s hard to believe I’m at this point. All of the anxieties and fears I experienced early in pregnancy have turned into this great love and sense of anticipation. I never felt the strong desire to get pregnant or have babies throughout my life, but God knew my heart better than I did. I do want this. I don’t know what to expect these next few weeks, but I want it.
I want the ugly, hard, up-all-hours, newborn and toddler family life with Will and this little baby.
I want the beautiful, cry-my-eyes-out, surreal moment when I get to meet my son or daughter for the first time.
I want to hear Will say, “It’s a ____!”
I want the laughter while changing diapers, the joy of seeing a tiny face that I helped create, the overwhelming sense of worship that I’ll feel when I witness and partake in a new life coming into the world.
I want the physical challenges, pain, and sacrifice that is required of me to birth and care for a baby in the months to come.
I want the hard decisions of parenting, the hard discussions I’ll have with Will, the hard conversations we’ll eventually have with this little one, and the joy we’ll share in raising and guiding this little one what we’ve learned about life so far.
I want the traditions and memories.
I want a family.
I want this sweet baby.
Ultimately, I want to surrender to all of it – this beautiful season God has called me to.
The word that God spoke over me in the first days of this journey will continue to encourage and sustain me, as I surrender myself to Him. Here’s to meeting a very special person in the next few days / weeks!
On a practical note : my maternity leave begins this Friday, May 15th. Callie will be managing the blog while I’m away, but I will still be popping in here and there to blog about life as a family of 3! My self imposed rule is that I will only blog if it’s fun for me. Otherwise, I’ll be snuggling and napping and soaking this season in. Stay in touch… You’ll be hearing from Callie here on the blog as soon as Baby Ray arrives!