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Show Notes:

Just a few months from now, in the start of 2023, that will mark 10 years since I did my first Contentment Challenge, where I give up shopping for three months straight to pursue a more content life and a closer walk with the Lord. 10 years! That's a long time, and you may or may not know this, but it had such a great impact on my life that I have done the Contentment Challenge almost every year since then—I think I skipped one year, maybe two.

So, today I'm gonna share the lessons that I have learned through the last 10 years of doing the Contentment Challenge, and I'm gonna invite you to pray about doing it with me again at the beginning of 2023.

For the full episode, hit play above.

Okay, a little backstory—

You may or may not know this, but Will and I paid off our house at a weirdly early age. We got into Dave Ramsey. We followed his plan really intensely. The first two years of our marriage, we put all of my income towards our house and we paid off our townhome that we bought for $160,000 at ages, I think we were 25 and 26 years old. We were completely debt free. If you know Dave Ramsey's baby steps, that means we were on baby step seven and we were thrilled.

And then after following a really strict budget, I kind of went crazy because I felt like I deserved the cushion. Like, I did this for so long, I want some wiggle room in my budget! So I was overspending in almost every category: food, clothing. I just wanted to be able to get what I wanted after achieving baby step seven and Will and I started arguing about money and for the first time in our marriage we were arguing about money because I couldn't stick to it.

This is after I paid off my house. It's so embarrassing.

Anyway, I went to this conference and God whispered that I should give up shopping for a few months. We had just paid off our house in December. This was March. It only took me three months to where God was like, “Okay, Nancy, hey, come back to me. You're never gonna get your fulfillment from living the life that you wanna live. You need to give up shopping and pursue a deeper relationship with me and pursue the good thing, the actual good things in life, which is not stuff, but experiences and relationships.”

And I fought him on it.

This was a two day conference and I was like, no, I do not wanna do this. But by the end of the conference, I submitted to the Lord and I said, okay, three months, here we go. I’ll give it up. And I blogged about it. I went through it, and it has changed my life. It changed my life then, and it changes my life every time I do it, which is why I keep going back to it.

So what I wanted to share with you, and if you want that whole story, if you wanna go back and listen to that story in depth of how I started this Contentment Challenge, go back all the way to little baby episode number three on the podcast, and you can hear the longer version of the Contentment Challenge, what it is, how it came to be, and how kind of God spoke to my heart.

But I just wanna give that backstory today because what I'm gonna do today is I'm gonna share 20 very brief kind of rapid fire lessons that I have learned after doing the Contentment Challenge for almost a decade now. And I also just kinda wanted to put it to you, if you feel this tug on your heart, like you are so tired of this culture of consumption, and you are so tired of hitting “buy now” in your Amazon cart and not paying attention to what you're doing and not getting fulfillment from that, or you're just tired of like all the clutter in your house and you're tired of, of honestly your lack of self-control. Because let me just say, I'm like raising my hand, actually raising my hand right now saying, that's me too. Even after doing it so many years, I still struggle with these things because it's all around us all the time. Everybody and everything is saying, “Spend your money now. Stuff is gonna make you happier now. Now go, you know, spend your money. Don't think, dude!”

It never satisfies. It leaves you feeling icky and your house is cluttered and you don't want, for me, it just leaves me not being the person that I wanna be. If you're feeling that tension, I just wanna encourage you to just pray about this because this is, it will help your budget, your bank account, your finances. It will. I mean, when you're not spending as much, it will help that. But that's not even the best benefit to this, in my opinion, which I'll talk about. It's the heart change, it's the the self-control practice and the closeness that I have. I've become so much closer with the Lord every time I do this because it's like a fast of sorts and it brings me closer to Him.

Okay, I feel like I'm already jumping into the lessons I learned, so I'm just gonna go ahead and start sharing these 20 lessons, but I just wanna say, you can join me if you want, if God is putting that on your heart for 2023.

Okay, let's jump into the 20 brief rapid fire lessons that I have learned doing this Contentment Challenge.

#1

First, it teaches me that happiness is not tied to material things, purchases or something new. Now, I will say it is very fun buying new things. I like shopping. I enjoy that and it makes me happy for a minute. It really does. But real happiness, like the deep down, I could cry, kind of happiness that I'm looking for, that joy, for me, it's found when I'm making memories with my kids or trying something new like, I don't know, getting outside, riding my bike, trying a new hiking trail or trying a new hobby. Those are the things that really last and make me real, real happy. And there's a difference there.

#2

The second thing is predetermining your boundaries helps you live the life that you wanna live.

So when I set out to do the Contentment Challenge, I say, okay, there's three months. These are my boundaries. This is what I'm gonna do. I'm not gonna shop for new clothes or household accessories. I'm not even gonna do my grocery shopping at Target. I'm gonna grocery shop at a cheaper grocery store like Aldi, or Food Lion. I am gonna pay attention to my budget during this time. I'm gonna clean up my house during this time. I'm gonna really pay attention and these are my boundaries. This is what I'm gonna do. This is what I'm not gonna do. I'm not allowing myself to do these things. It helps you live the life that you wanna live. And even after the Contentment Challenge is over, I realize that if I predetermine a budget or a spending plan, or I predetermine how I'm gonna work out that week in my schedule, if I predetermine any plan, really any boundary I set up, it just helps you live the life that you want to live. And that's an enduring principle that I've learned from the Contentment Challenge.

#3

Another thing is that, this seems unrelated, but it is related. Social media causes me to buy things I never would've bought otherwise. Okay? So some people have done the Contentment Challenge and said, “I'm not buying anything and I'm giving up social media for a few months.” And honestly, I'm considering doing that in the new year because let's be real, social media is just a love-hate relationship.

So, when I do the Contentment Challenge and I'm on social media during that time, because I might do that, too, I don't know. I realize that if I already have a predetermined, “I'm not buying anything” in my head, when an Instagram ad pops up, I just keep scrolling. I don't even pay attention to it. When I am not on the Contentment Challenge, I buy stuff that I never would have bought otherwise on Instagram. So it also reflects that just predetermining your boundaries helps you live the life you wanna live.

#4

All right, the next one is that I have never not benefited from the Contentment Challenge in some way. Has it been inconvenient at times? Yes. Have I whined and complained that I couldn't get a new dress for an event I wanted to go to? Absolutely. But I've never not benefited from it. The benefits always outweigh the sacrifice every single time for me.

#5

The next one is that it really helps you realistically look ahead and plan your spending. One of my favorite parts about the Contentment Challenge is the shopping I get to do before I start.

I don't go crazy, but I look ahead and say, okay, I'm attending this wedding. I have this event that I'm gonna be going to, you know, maybe for work or a conference or a baby shower. It helps me assess my wardrobe. Okay? Do I have everything that I need in my wardrobe for the next three months when I lead worship with the worship team, when I am working out, do I have like updated running shoes? It really makes me think thoroughly about my wardrobe and about my household things that I need. Do I have the things on hand in my household that we need for the next few months? It's really helpful to just realistically look ahead and plan your spending.

#6

It's also really important to pay attention to the season that you're in while also not making excuses. So what I mean by that is, for instance, I've had babies, right? Over the last eight years, I've had four babies and I've done the Contentment Challenge on and off throughout that time. And sometimes it would, it would fall during a time where I had like a little baby.

And it's important to pay attention to the season you're in and say, these are realistically like things that I actually need. I'm not gonna be so legalistic about it. This is what I need to take care of my family, but also not making excuses and saying, “oh, but I have a little baby, so I'm gonna buy all of these new outfits that we don't really need, and all of these new accessories that we don't really need. And I really want this brand new nightgown because I deserve it. And oh, I really need these new slippers because I'm gonna be home all the time.” You know what, you see the slippery slope that it can get on.

So just having a spirit of discernment, like, okay, this is an important season I'm in and I wanna enjoy it and get the things that my family needs. But also don't make so many excuses that you're just spending like crazy and you, you just go off the rails and you don't even do the Contentment Challenge. I feel like it's better to not do the Contentment Challenge if you feel like that's how you're gonna be, or if you just don't wanna do it in this season of life, that is totally fine, totally fine. That's why I skipped it a couple times over the last 10 years. But if you're gonna do it, pay attention to the season you're in while also not making excuses.

#7

I naturally get rid of a ton of clutter in my own house when I stop shopping. Isn't that weird? I think this is weird. I think it seems very strange, but every time when I cut off what's coming into my house, it makes me assess everything that is actually in my house, and I get rid of so much of it. I think I just, I wanna use what I have because maybe I'm kind of bored and I want new things, and so I just start going through things and rearranging, and I enjoy it. I get rid of all this stuff that's bothering me, and I donate so much stuff by the end of the Contentment Challenge. Every time I have less clutter, 100%,. I get rid of stuff. I sell stuff, and I don't have an influx of new stuff coming in, and it's the best. It's so refreshing and so good.

#8

I get so resourceful. This is probably one of the biggest benefits of the Contentment Challenge. I mend clothing, I sew up things that have ripped. I remember I almost bought a frame—I had started the Contentment Challenge, iwas like only five days in, and I was like, oh, I really just, I had this beautiful new artwork I got for Christmas. I forgot to buy a picture frame. I was so close to buying a frame for it. And then I said, no, I am going to stick to my word, even though I'm just five days in. I'm gonna wait. And then I remembered an old frame that I had tucked away in a closet, and I was like, I'm just gonna see if this will work. I use that instead. I have never changed it. I saved money. I even like this old frame better. But I would have never, ever done that if I hadn't just told myself no and to wait. I would've never done that. You just become more resourceful. You fix things that break. It's, it's pretty cool to kind of like stretch that muscle in yourself. All right.

#9

The next one is that I read a lot more. That's all I'm gonna say about that.

#10

The next is that I don't compare myself as much to others when I've made up my mind to enjoy the things I have and only improve my life in actionable ways with the belongings I already own. I look at other people's lives and I just stop trying to be like them because I'm like, I can't spend money to look like you. I'm just not going to. And then I stop trying and then I'm just happier. It's great.

#11

The next one is, I tend to spend more time outside and that that is life giving to me. I remember, I think the first or second Contentment Challenge I ever did. I just started riding my bike on the greenway, and it was glorious. I have vivid memories of that still, and it was so beautiful to me.

#12

The next one, I put together new outfits that I already own. I just take the clothes I already have things I've never thought of combining in different ways. I get so creative in my closet and it really helps when I wanna buy something new to just create a new outfit with what I already have, which is what I should be doing anyway, but it's way easier to just buy something new. Okay? For the two weeks leading up to the Contentment Challenge, I buy quality, intentional pieces. I plan ahead. It's so fun.

Here's a list of things I bought. I bought an outfit for a speaking engagement for a baby shower, for a wedding, for a work event. I've got new running shoes, I've got new underwear, I've got new boots. I've gotten new winter clothing items that I needed looking ahead, intentionally buying those new workout gear and any clothes that I needed to replace.

Again, that is a list, not from one Contentment Challenge, but from a lot of different Contentment Challenges through the years, depending on that year and what I needed. But it's so helpful.

#13

The next thing is that I just plan and focus more on experiences with my family, even just by myself. I will plan things like a trip to the zoo, or I'll plan to go to Nashville to visit my family, or I'll plan something small like going for a hike alone or an afternoon by myself just to be with the Lord and really ask Him what he's saying to me. And that's just lovely. I love that.

#14

My email time goes down because I unsubscribe from every single store that hits me up for their marketing almost every day or week, and I just hit unsubscribe. Cause I'm like, I don't need to see what you have. Anthropology, I do not need to see your specials right now. I don't need that in my life. And so I just ruthlessly unsubscribe to everything and it's great. So I'm way more efficient with my emails.

#15

Next, this is obvious. I save so much money. Think about this—I've done this for three months for about, I don't know, eight or nine years. Let's say I did it for 10 years straight. I haven't, but let's just say that's combined three months a year for 10 years is two and a half years of me not shopping. That's crazy. No, I don't go crazy after it's over.

When the Contentment Challenge is done, I do not go on a shopping spree. It's actually quite the opposite. It's interesting. I have a hard time shopping again, but I'll save that for another point in a second. But the bottom line is, I save so much money and I see the habits that I have in myself of buying stuff all the time, and it's really, really good self-awareness.

#16

My grocery shopping becomes cheaper and way more efficient because I tend to grocery shop at cheaper grocery stores. Like I said, I do Food Lion and Aldi. I don't do Target where I can kind of peruse the the ladies section as well. I just do online shopping at cheaper grocery stores.

It's wonderful. I wish Trader Joe's was near me because I would do that, but it's not. All right, that was a tangent. Moving on.

#17

Next thing, I tend to get creative in ways that I'm usually not creative in my home decor, my accessories, my jewelry that I have, my outfits, I mentioned that.

#18

Another thing is my hair. I feel like just the space of like not buying things allows you to get creative in ways that you just normally don't. And it's fun and it's a good challenge and we should be this way anyway, but we're not, not because there's a lot of flashy, new sparkly things that get our attention all the time. So this is, this is a really big part of this that I actually really look forward to. All right, two more.

#19

I learn an unlearn legalism. Let me explain that. So when you're on the Contentment Challenge, it's like a fast. I have decided I'm not gonna shop for stuff. I'm giving up shopping in a sense, and in a way that feels legalistic because I'm just setting a hard boundary and say and saying no. But the truth is that after it's over, I have this brand new perspective on life and self-awareness and self-control. But also I realize the purpose of this is to learn freedom and contentment. When we learn real contentment, when we we're content with our things and our home and our family and who we are, that is freedom. That is just a beautiful freedom.

#20

And the last thing that I'll say, the last point I'm gonna make, biggest lesson that I love and learn from doing the Contentment Challenge is that because it stretches me and it's hard for me, I'm not gonna say it's easy. It's not easy, it's hard for me. But because of that, I dialogue with the Lord and talk to Him throughout my days. So, much more like fasting. It brings me closer to Him, and it's a joy to do it because I talk to Him more and I'm learning about Him more. And I feel like my spirit is just more in tune with what He is sharing in my life. And that's it.

Those are my 20 quick takeaways from doing the Contentment Challenge over the last 10 years. And I just wanna encourage you, if you feel like you wanna try this for one month, two months, for three months—I recommend three months because I feel like it's, it's a big enough challenge where it really makes a life change—you can click here and learn more about my resources.

You can do it completely for free, or you can pay $10 and get access to some resources that will help you and encourage you, and I'll speak life to you all along the way while you do it.

I'm gonna close with a poem. This is a longer closing than normal, but this is by Clara Tear Williams, and it's called Satisfied. And she says,

“All my life I had a longing
For a drink from some clear spring,
That I hoped would quench the burning
Of the thirst I felt within.
Hallelujah! I have found Him
Whom my soul so long has craved!
Jesus satisfies my longings,
Through His blood I now am saved.
Feeding on the husks around me,
Till my strength was almost gone,
Longed my soul for something better,
Only still to hunger on.
Poor I was, and sought for riches,
Something that would satisfy,
But the dust I gathered round me
Only mocked my soul’s sad cry.
Well of water, ever springing,
Bread of life so rich and free,
Untold wealth that never faileth,
My Redeemer is to me.”