149 - 5 Ways to Make the Most of Being Sick
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Having four small children six and under simply means that over the last six years there has been a lot of sickness in our house and for two and a half years of that time, we have lived through the pandemic. Our culture has been hyper-vigilant and very fearful of any kind of sickness because of COVID. And while there's really no right or wrong way to be sick, because you're just sick. I have learned a few things.
I've learned ways to cope with sickness, ways to cling to Jesus, ways to pray over your children during sickness, ways to perhaps make sickness a little less miserable and that's what I'm going to share with you today.
For the full episode, hit play above or read through it below.
Sickness is the worst. It is literally the worst. You're just going about life—you've got your to-do list, your rhythms, your work, your meal plan, your errands and then boom; somebody's sick and everything you have planned gets thrown out the window. You feel the anxiety and you have to just start over and make a new plan. It's the worst. While the weather's changing and things are getting warmer here in North Carolina and I feel like we're coming out of the pandemic and out of the winter of sickness and all my kids being so little, there's going to be more sickness.
It's just going to happen. It's just part of life. It's how our bodies build up immunity. And I think we can learn ways to make it a little bit better. Now, before I dive in, I want to say something—this episode is for all the mamas who are out there taking care of your kiddos who are sick, who have had to rewrite your expectations every single day, again and again and again. For weeks on end you've dealt with the disappointment, you have sunk into depression because you feel like you cannot catch a break.
I'll never forget that season for our family. I mean, it's happened every winter to a degree but man, when Millie was four and Lyndon was one and a half and then Beaufort was a newborn or maybe just a few months old. Millie got the flu, Lyndon had croup, Beaufort had chronic ear infections. Which he ended up getting surgery for, I was sick with sinus infections, all kinds. I mean, it just was one thing after another again and again, weeks and weeks on end, I really felt so depressed.
I mean, I'll never forget one morning I woke up and I was like, I think we're coming out of this. And I was so thankful and I was having my quiet time and then I heard Lyndon cough and it was like the start of a really ugly cough all over again.
And I just sat on the couch and wept. It was like a low of lows, like ugly cry, mad. Like, why is this happening? Why can we not catch a break? I was so exhausted and so tired of being sick and I couldn't get any help because nobody wanted to be in our house because we were all so sick. Which I get, but still, it just felt very lonely and very long and very dark and it was, it was rough. It was one of my lowest points of motherhood. One of the lowest points in my life. It just felt like I couldn't climb out of this hole and I kept trying to. Bottom line is, if that's where you are, that is who this episode is for.
It is for the mom out there feeling like you can't catch a break and you've got little kids and you know they're sick and you're doing everything you can. I also want to say this episode is not for the mom who has a child with a serious illness or disability. I want to pause and just honor you because you are my hero. You are the one who should be teaching me what to say today.
There's not enough awards or money in the world that could pay you what you deserve for what you're doing. And instead you get sleepless nights, medical bills, just long weary days in return for your sacrificial love. So I just want to pause and honor you because you don't get that enough. And while I don't have that experience, if you do choose to listen today and you fall into this category please listen with very gracious ears, knowing that I have never been in your shoes and I think there are things that you absolutely can be encouraged with today.
No matter what kind of mama you are, you can get things out of today because they're timeless principles rooted in scripture. Ways that you can pray over and declare truth over your home. But I just want to say, I don't know what that's like, and I honor you and bless you so much today.
So let's dive into five ways I make the most of being sick.
Number one, start with thankfulness.
Listen, as soon as my kid starts coughing or starts telling me their stomach hurts or starts to feel hot to me and I can tell like, they're not feeling well. I can feel my physical reaction, like the anxiety rise up in me. I immediately start to stress. And one of the first things that I have tried to do is just start out loud thanking God that this is my baby, like thank you, Jesus, that this baby's immune system is working. Thank you that fevers fight off illness.
Thank you for the health that we have had. Thank you, Jesus that this is just part of being a kid and that I can help my child navigate this and learn to take care of their body. I just try to start thinking of things I'm thankful for, the other day my sister texted me and one of her sons was throwing up.
I mean, gross. Like he just puked everywhere, all over everything in his room. And she had to clean it all up and it was late at night that it happened, right as everyone was going to bed. And she just was like—she and I both really do not like throw up like really, really do not like throw up at all.
And she just said, I feel like I'm on edge, like my eyes are wide open, like I'm not gonna be able to sleep. Please pray that I don't get it. Please pray that nobody else gets it in the family. I mean, and she has six kids. So it's a big deal. If one person throws up, it's like please pray this is not the stomach bug because it’s just, all the anxiety is so much.
So, she texted me this and I said I'm praying, I'm standing with you. Yes, let's pray that this will not spread and I've just encouraged her. I said, listen, let's just thank Jesus, thank you and I typed this out in a text.
I said, “Thank you Jesus that throwing up is part of childhood, as awful as it is. Thank you that his body's working properly. It's getting rid of whatever he needs to get rid of. Thank you that sickness builds resilience. And gratitude for our health makes us thankful for when we feel good.
Thank you that you cover us in every season that our bodies remind us to long for heaven one day. Where there will be, there will be no sickness. And thank you that we can receive your healing earth-side because of the cross. Thank you, Jesus.”
And if you just start by thanking Jesus for what you have and these tiny bodies that are working so hard to fight off sickness, your anxiety will just start to dissipate. It will start to go away because you have perspective that you know what, this builds resilience in my children. This is a good thing.
Their bodies are healthy, even though they're sick, they're fighting off the sickness. They're working, thank you Lord. And another thing that thankfulness does is it really helps you just gain perspective in life because you start to see that this, this is something to be thankful for. Because no matter where we are, no matter where you are, if you're listening to this, there's somebody somewhere on this earth who has it worse than you and the enemy loves a good pity party.
He loves to make us believe the lie that no, I have it worst of all right now, nobody else has it as bad as me right now. And so when you start to thank Jesus out loud and thank him for the health and healing that he's bringing to your family and to your babies, you realize, you know what? I do have so much to be thankful for. I don't have as much to be worried about as I think that I do.
Number two, pray over your children.
It is an opportunity to lay hands on your children and to pray over them. One of my favorite examples of this is found in Richard Foster's book, Celebration of Discipline and in his chapter on prayer, he gives this example and I've never forgotten it. I'm going to read it to you because it's so good. He gives this example of when he had an opportunity to pray over a child and he talks about praying and using your imagination. And he says, "Imagination often opens the door to faith. If God shows us a shattered marriage whole or a sick person well, it helps us to believe that it will be so. Children instantly understand these things and respond well to praying with their imagination. I was once called to a home to pray for a seriously ill baby girl. Her four year old brother was in the room and so I told him I needed his help to pray for his baby sister.
He was delighted and so was I, since I know that children can often pray with unusual effectiveness. He climbed up in the chair beside me. Let's play a little game I said, ‘Since we know that Jesus is always with us, let's imagine that he is sitting over in that chair, across the room from us. He's waiting patiently for us to center our attention on him.
When we see him, we start thinking more about his love than how sick Julie is. He smiles gets up and comes over to us. Then let's both put our hands on Julie. And when we do, Jesus will put his hands on top of ours. We'll watch the light from Jesus flow into your little sister and make her well. Let's watch the healing power of Christ fight the bad germs until they are all gone, okay?’
Seriously, the little one nodded. Together, we prayed in this childlike way and then thanked the Lord that what we had prayed was the way it was going to be. Now I do not know exactly what happened nor how it was accomplished, but I do know that the next morning Julie was perfectly well." That story gives me chills every time I read it.
I love that picture of just pausing and laying your hands on your children and inviting your other kids to pray for their siblings and asking Jesus to come and put his hands on top of your hands and then pray. And thank God that it, that it would be so, and I just, that picture has always made such an impression on me.
Sickness is an opportunity to invite Jesus in and to pray and use the power of prayer in your home and model that power of prayer to the other kids in your family. And let that just be a mark that when someone gets sick, it is time for the family to rally around that person and pray for them. I also love the example that he talks about in the book just a few pages later, he says, "You know, one delightful approach is to go into the bedroom and lightly place your hands on your sleeping child and just pray over your child while they sleep.” He says, “Ask Christ to flow through your hands, healing every emotional trauma and hurt feeling your child experienced that day, fill him or her with the peace and joy of the Lord."
And I do that to my kids when they're well, but also when they're sick just to go in and lay your hands on them while they're sleeping and know that sleep heals, and God is working through their sleep and, just asking Jesus to touch them. So use the power of prayer when your kids are sick, use it as an opportunity to model that in your home.
Number three is to get creative with comfort.
You know, as moms, we have such a special role in our home to provide comfort when our children or any member of the family is hurting. And so here are a few ways that I've just gotten creative with bringing comfort to my kids when they're sick. In a way that they don't look forward to getting sick, but at least it takes the edge off of the misery. So they know they're going to be cared for a little bit more than normal.
So, you know, we'll maybe have a marathon of their favorite show. One time I said like, let's have a Bluey marathon. And my kids were like, what's a Bluey marathon. You know, when they're sick they didn't understand, but I got to tell them, it's like, you just watch show on show on show on show as much as you can until you're so tired of it, you can't watch it anymore. And their eyes got so wide they were like, this is awesome. You know, just providing popsicles, ice cream, getting some healthy things in them.
We do smoothies a lot when they're sick, which is really good too, but just making sure they're nice and hydrated with some yummier drinks, juices, things like that. I know one thing that we love to do when our kids are sick is give them a bath in the morning. When they wake up in the morning, it just kind of soothes them and helps them to get used to the day.
One idea that I've heard from a mom, which I think is so clever and really helpful is to make like a sick basket or a get well basket. Where you fill it with coloring books or stickers, we like the water wows, which are these little things that you can color with, like a water pin, you know, as they get older, make it age appropriate.
You can give yarn for making friendship bracelets or bead crafts or Lego sets. Whatever it is that they can just sit and do something with their hands while they're waiting to get better. Instead of just watching TV all the time, it's kind of fun for them. You know, it's worth it just to spend a few extra dollars to get that all set up for them. Just getting creative with comfort.
You know, when one of my friends got COVID this year, it was like her whole family got it all at once. And they were just down, like Mom and Dad and all three kids were just so sick all at the same time, which is not how it happened for our family.
When we got COVID, it was so annoying because I got it first and then Will got it a week after me and then our kids got it, like here and there. It just was like, man, it's not fun to all be sick at the same time, but with COVID—wow, that dragged out a long time.
Back to the story. When my friends got it, they all got sick at the same time and I was like telling her, I was like, listen, if I were you, I would make a list of movies. And I would say, kids, we all get a movie a day or two movies a day and you get to choose and we'll cross them off. And you guys are in charge of the movie list. And that'll buy Mom and Dad some rest time, it'll be super fun for the kids. And she was like, that is a great idea.
It's just getting creative with ways to like, okay, we're all locked in the house let's just have a little bit of fun or rest or a combo of both, if we can. Just by giving a little bit of structure to your days. Yeah, to just help you get through it.
Number four is to create an atmosphere for healing.
And let's just talk about what this means. When I say atmosphere for healing, you might be like me and you might picture a really clean and orderly home. And while that's nice to think about in your brain right now, as you're picturing a nice atmosphere for a home feeling, let me just say, go ahead and toss that image right out of your mind because nobody's house is clean or orderly when you're sick. So go ahead and picture a really messy house with dishes everywhere because you won't have the energy to clean it and it's just a mess. The whole routine is out the window, right? So when I say atmosphere, I'm not talking about your home.
I am talking about the atmosphere, like the spiritual atmosphere, the attitude. What is the attitude of your home going to be like? The sound of your home, the smell of your home? Simple things that you can do to provide an atmosphere of comfort and healing. A few things that I do when my kiddos get sick, or when I get sick, I try to do, I don't always do these things, but when I remember I really try to do these things.
First, play worship music. There's a song that says, “This is how I fight my battles.” It really is worship music. It helps my mind so much to get through the hard days. You know, I'll immediately kind of rinse out or clean out the humidifiers and I'll get them ready to go so that we can just turn them on overnight.
We're not big into oils, we do like to use them sometimes though. And when they're sick, I will diffuse oils in their rooms to just help their healing. And that, it just smells like you're getting better. You know, it's just great. Just having those things like on hand are wonderful. As soon as somebody starts to get really sick, you know, I'll place an order at the grocery store. Stock up on fruits and veggies, especially for smoothies. They definitely don't want to eat fruits and veggies when they're sick, but they'll drink a smoothie. So trying to get that, some gummies, vitamin C, just kids vitamins, all that top popsicles juices, just kind of place a quick grocery order to make sure they're staying hydrated.
And then I just looked through our current craft bin to see what activities I can find going back to kind of point number three, getting creative with comfort. Just making sure you have some things on hand so that the atmosphere isn't so discouraging and sad, but like, okay, we're going to do this. We're going to get better together.
And number five, use sickness as an opportunity to draw closer to Jesus.
Every trial we face in life, bigger, small is an invitation. As soon as one of my kids get sick, I can start feeling really bad and have a pity party and get really mad and feel that anxiety rising, which if I'm honest, that's what happens first. But then I can pause and look at it as an invitation to trust in the Lord and speak life and healing over my babies and to model to them what it looks like to be flexible and to pivot and to care for your people first.
You know, suffering in the Bible, there's all kinds of scripture about suffering and stories about suffering and what I see, there's like this common thread that suffering produces really beautiful things in our spiritual lives that we can't attain without the suffering. And it produces things in our character, but we have to let it because it also can produce some not so great things in us.
But if we turn to Jesus, if we draw close to Jesus in our suffering, he promises to always meet us there. 1 Peter 5:10 says "The God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast."
I love that. It says, will himself, Jesus himself will restore you. That speaks to intimacy that He himself is going to take care of you.
Galatians 6:2 says, "Carry each other's burdens." Being sick is a way to kind of lean on each other, say, Hey—I need some help. And also if you're paying attention to the people around you just offering help to them.
Isaiah 43:2 says "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.” The Lord is with you in the suffering. James 1:2 says "Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because after standing the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him." Blessed are you. If you're in the middle of suffering, that sounds so counterintuitive, but it's because Jesus is with you. He is with you in it.
Psalm 34:18 says "The Lord is close to the broken hearted." Isaiah 41:10 says, "Don't fear, I'm with you. Don't be dismayed, I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
When sickness comes to your house, it's an opportunity to take hold of these scriptures and not live in fear and say, we are not a family who's afraid of sickness. I have to tell myself this, whenever I have to give myself a really big pep talk. Whenever one of my kids throws up, I just, like I said, that's kind of my weakness.
That's where my anxiety goes. And I get really, really fearful. I get fearful that I'm going to throw up. I get fearful that other kids are and it's going to spread. And it is an opportunity when that happens for me to say, I refuse to be fearful. The Lord tells me, do not fear, He is with me.
We can get through this. We can do this. He is my God. He will strengthen us. He will help us. This is part of childhood. Let's get through this. He is upholding us.
So just declare that scripture over here, families in those really hard seasons.
Start with thankfulness.
Use the power of prayer.
Get creative with comfort.
Create an atmosphere for healing.
Draw closer to Jesus.
Work & Play Cornerstore
It's time for the Work and Play Cornerstore, which I haven't done in a really long time, but I just wanted to this episode. So it's my Amazon affiliate store—you can always go there by going to nancyray.com/cornerstore—and I just wanted to add a few things that have helped me immensely in my mindset about sickness and also just some fun things.
So number one, there's this book it's called How to Raise a Healthy Child in Spite of Your Doctor. It's by a doctor, funnily enough, Dr. Mendelsohn, he's one of the—well, the tagline says he's one of America's leading pediatricians, but he puts parents back in control of their children's health. And I read this book when I was pregnant with Millie, or I think she was like a newborn and a friend gave it to me. And I was like, this is kind of weird and interesting, but I'll give it a go. And it has really helped me have so much confidence in caring for my children.
So it's an interesting title for sure, but it has really helped me make some measured decisions and also really not be afraid of things like fevers and, things like coughs. Like I feel way more confident now in assessing my children when they need to go to the doctor or not after reading that book. It's really great.
Okay, two things—Epsom salts for your bath or shower steamers for your shower.
Both of these things have been introduced to me in the last few years and I'm obsessed with both of them. The Dr. Teal's Pink Himalayan Mineral Soak Epsom Salts, so good. They smell amazing, if you have a bathtub, that's what I recommend.
For the shower steamers—I don't know if you know about this, they're like little things, I'm making a shape with my hand right now, but you can't see me. It's like a little hockey puck, but it's not. It's like made of packed powder and you put it in the bottom of your shower and the hot water comes on and it steams up your shower with really yummy smells. And it is so therapeutic and wonderful when you are sick or you have congestion.
I really like a eucalyptus peppermint kind that just clears your nasal passages, it's so good. I used it when we had COVID to try to smell a little bit more, but I've definitely used it for sinus infections and other times I've been sick. It's wonderful.
So definitely recommend that you try those things. If you haven't, just keep them on hand so that if and when you get sick next, you'll just have that little comfort ready to go.
Okay. I'm going to close with a scripture that I've already read, but it's so powerful. I just want to leave you with these words:
Isaiah 41:10 "Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your God, I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Thanks for listening and I'll catch you next time.
