229 - Rest
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Show Notes:
We live in a time where rest and play are very hard to come by. It can even be looked down on in our culture and often it feels impossible with the busy nature of our lives and schedules. Today’s episode is hopefully going to be encouraging to you to make time to rest and play a little bit more.
For the full episode, hit play above or read through below.
Okay, this is the “play” part of Work and Play with Nancy Ray. I love this theme of rest and play so much that I have decided to dedicate the entire month of April to the theme of rest. Then you can get excited because May is for mamas and it’s right around the corner. You guys know that every month of May I focus on topics of motherhood.
So I don't know… maybe I'm going to be doing some more themed months or series. I was talking with my friend Emily who made this suggestion to me and I loved what she had to say: “You can just try it out and see what works.” I was telling her I want to do a deeper dive on certain topics and I thought, “Oh my goodness, I'm already talking so much about rest. Let's just make this the whole theme of April.”
So get excited for April's episodes because I have some great interviews lined up. I'll even be talking with my husband, Will about our whole year of observing Sabbaths and what that has done for our family. So yeah, if you're looking for a deeper dive into this topic of rest, don't miss an episode in the month of April.
So today I want to talk about rest and play and how they work together. Also just acknowledge that it's very very difficult to make those things a priority in regular rhythms in our lives in the day and age that we live in. There are so many different things vying for our attention and a long list of to-dos that we have to deal with every single day. Much of life as an adult, as a wife, as a parent can feel just like work. So I want to talk about rest (the importance of that) and play and and really just encourage you and challenge you to make more time for that in your own life.
If I can be honest for a second, I think we as christians really struggle with this. I think that we can get really caught up in wanting to do things for God and His glory and live a life for Him that sometimes it's hard to rest. But what I want to remind you of is… when God made us on the sixth day of creation, Adam and Eve, the first humans, they woke up and on the first day of their life, they rested, God rested. Day 7 was when God rested and so I think that's such a beautiful realization that God did not expect them to get busy day one. God wanted to be with them and rest with them.
So if we can just plan for rhythms in our lives and in our hearts to be more restful and more playful people, I think the body of Christ would be so much more attractive to the world because we are rested and we are fun. Let's be honest, we have the secret to like the good stuff of life, the peace of our eternity, the joy of what it looks like to walk with God every day and hear His voice. So I think rest and play should be, not something that we squeeze into our lives, but something that we live from and are excited to share and to show other people.
So let's start by defining rest. I looked it up in the dictionary and the definition is “To cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself or recover strength.” Another definition says “An instant or period of relaxing or ceasing to engage in strenuous or stressful activity.” My mind immediately goes to the Sabbath because the Sabbath means (literally) to cease, to stop working.
I also have a picture of someone (I don't know why) running track and having a rest break. They've run, run, run, and run and then they're taking a rest. It's like they're breathing heavy, I can picture their hands on their knees, drinking some water, like okay I've ceased my running by stopping to take a rest. That's what we need to do in our lives on a daily basis and especially a weekly basis when it comes to the Sabbath.
I want to just highlight how much rest is in the Bible. This is not a comprehensive list, but a couple of references when rest is talked about in the Bible. It starts out God rests from his work on the seventh day in Genesis 2. In the 10 commandments, the longest commandment is to remember the Sabbath and keep it holy in Exodus 20. God says, “I will go with you and give you rest”, Exodus 33. “You make me dwell in safety”, Psalm 4:8. That verse is specifically talking about sleep. I quote this all the time to my kids, but it says “I lie down and sleep in peace for you alone, Lord make me dwell in safety.” Obviously sleep and rest are tied together. “He makes me lie down in green pastures”, Psalm 23. Literally, God makes us rest sometimes. “I would fly away and be at rest”, Psalm 55. There's a lot of Psalms about rest, but it's all throughout God's Word. Rest is a theme throughout the Bible and I think it should mark a believer's life.
But one thing that we've realized (and you'll hear about this in the episodes coming up this month when I talk with Will about our Sabbath practice and kind of what we do and how we observe the Sabbath) is naturally, play comes out of our time of rest. It's really hard to get in that mode of play when you're working, you're like in a project, when you're focused on any kind of work whether it's your job or whether it's cleaning out the pantry or whether it's tackling the garage. Whatever project you're working on, it's really hard to get in the mode of just being playful because you want to get the job done. There's nothing wrong with that, but play and the ability to play really comes out of resting.
Now the definition of play is “To engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.” So that just makes sense, right? Iif you've rested and you've ceased working and you don't have that mindset of getting something done or accomplishing something, you can easily engage in an activity for enjoyment in recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.
So play is something I feel like I've learned so much just from being a parent. I've learned so much about play just from my kids and watching my kids play. There's a quote, Play is the work of a child.” -Maria Montessori. I've heard that phrase a lot and it's amazing because the drive for my kids to play all the time can exceed their drive to eat. It will be lunchtime and if they are deep in play, they will not come to eat. It will exceed their need for sleep. They will stay up playing like an hour past their bedtimes. They share a room and they want to play. And I know they're exhausted, but their little minds thrive on playing together. It's so beautiful to watch your kids play and to get in that imaginative state where they don't feel like they're accomplishing anything. It's pure enjoyment.
One of the things that I feel like I've learned from my kids, from Sabbath, from rest is play comes so much easier when we don't have a project or goal, but it's just open ended and it’s just fun. The main thing that I've really taken away from my walk with the Lord is there is an element of playing or enjoying God (and I mean that in a very respectful and honoring way to Him. I don't want that to come across as I take God lightheartedly or that He's not holy because He is), there is an element (or I think enjoyment is the better word). I feel light and I feel happy, very similar to how I feel when I'm playing with my kids, when I take the time to rest and just enjoy Him and His creation. So it's a vital part to the Christian walk to rest and to play and just enjoy creation and emjoy relationships and enjoy God. I think it's beautiful and it's something that we can very easily miss.
Like I said, our culture is like a river going one direction, it's pulling us towards so much doing and so much productivity that it's easy to get swept in. We have to put our foot down and say, “No, I'm not getting swept up in that. I am going to make sure that my life and my family and my heart have space and room to rest and play.” That is hard, but that's what we're going to be talking about all month long. I'm really excited about it.
I wanted to just share some simple rhythms that help me play and help me rest that I've incorporated into my life lately. I think sometimes when you have little kids, it can feel like everything you do is work. But looking for the little glimmers of play and rest and taking hold of those and just breathing deeply when you get those chances and making them a priority can be very life giving. Sso these are just 8 things that have come to my mind that I do to help me rest and play regularly in my family and in my life.
1. Family Walks
One is family walks. We try to take a family walk either before or after dinner, depending on the time of year and the weather. Will and I just try to catch up from our day and let the kids ride their bikes or scooters or just run alongside of us and get outside in God's creation. It's a very simple rhythm that feels like hey, we're not setting out to really accomplish anything. We're setting out to enjoy each other and enjoy creation.
2. Journaling
A second rhythm that I really love is journaling. This, for me is a very key component to my rest because it allows me to process a lot of things that are going on in my heart and mind. I think that it gets me in a state of thinking about life and thinking about God. A lot of times, I will write out my prayers in my journal. Journaling is just something that really allows me to rest the emotional side of me and the spiritual side of me and really connect with God. So that's a rhythm that if you've never tried journaling, it might feel weird at first, but I definitely recommend just trying it because it's helped me a lot
3. Card Games
The third thing that we've kind of picked up on more as the kids are a little bit older is card games. Now Will and I have always played card games. We've played not just card games, but any kind of board game since we were engaged and dating. We love board games. It's so fun. And now that our kids are a little bit older, they're starting to be able to play some things with us. Recently our favorite one is called Skyjo. It’s very simple. Benji and Beaufort can even play, but it's quite funny because they'll lose their attention span, especially Benji but they. But after we've played it several times, they all get it. And it's just numbers, it's like simple math, but it's good. You'll have to look it up. I'll leave a link in the show notes for it. But I think just planning times to play games, especially with the kids, is such a good way to incorporate play into your life on a regular basis.
4. Hot Bath Every Night
For me, a rhythm that I love so much is a hot bath every night. That gets me into such a restful state as I wind down for bed. It's one of the restful rhythms that I have in my life that helps me every single day to just quiet my body and mind and heart at the end of the day and I really love it. If you don't have a bath (because I've lived in places where I didn't have a bath and it made me really sad), my friend Kate Strickler (you might know her better as @naptimekitchen on Instagram), she talks about having a hot shower in the dark. She turns off all the lights and she takes a shower and then she will play quiet, soothing music. She's like, “I'm instantly transforming my bathroom into a spa.” So don't feel bad if you don't have a bathtub, you can do that too. Sounds pretty amazing. I have actually done it a few times and it's really good. I've actually played worship music and it's very restful and helpful to do that. So yeah, I love that rhythm.
5. Morning Quiet Time
My morning quiet time. This is very restful for me and it really helps me start my day from a place of rest instead of a place of frantic. Now I was not able to do this for many years because of breastfeeding and being up several times a night. So if you're there, just hear me, I understand. You can have quiet moments with the Lord throughout the day and abide with Him. But I'm back at the place in my life where I can get up and have coffee and pray and that's when I journal and I listen to the Word and gosh, it’s just good to start my day that way. It helps me to start my day from a place of rest and listening to the Lord.
6. Join In with the Kids
A simple rhythm that I've tried to do to help me play more is to join in with the kids in what they're doing. Usually it's only for about 5 minutes. Like I can't, you know if I'm making dinner, I can't go jump on the trampoline with them for 30 minutes. There's dinner to be made. I have to do stuff. But just trying to say like, “Do I have 5 minutes? Do I have 5 minutes to jump on the trampoline with them?” Yeah I could probably give 5 minutes of my time. Do I have 2 minutes to just sit down with them while they're building their Magna-Tiles and build a little bit?
So for me. It's helpful to think of it in smaller minute increments because I feel like I'm more willing to do it if that makes sense. Usually my default is thinking of everything I have to do and how I don't have the time to do those things. But if I do just put myself out there and try to join in with them just for a little bit, it makes such a difference in my day and in theirs which is really sweet.
7. Invite the Kids to Join In
Another rhythm um is inviting the kids to join me and what I'm doing. So if I'm baking a dessert or even if I'm reading a book I can say, “Do you guys want to come over here and get a book and read next to me?” Now that doesn't always work out well, I will be honest. But just trying to get creative with ways to invite them into what I'm doing. A lot of times, what I have found is making dinner does become playful. It's less work and more playful if the kids are helping me. Am I inconvenienced some? Yes. Does it slow things down? Yes it does, but it's more playful. We have more fun and they feel more connected and so do I. So yeah, just joining in with them, having them join in with me.
8. Practicing Sabbath
Then lastly, practicing Sabbath every week. I know some of you listening are like, “Nancy talks about this all the time. I just don't see how I can do this. This feels very impractical and unrealistic with my life.” And I get that, I hear you. It is swimming against the current of our culture. It's very hard to do, but man the payoff is so great. I just can't stop talking about it because (and I'll go into this in a very detailed level with Will later this month in a couple of episodes that I recorded with him) the payoff is just so great. Like, we're never going to go back. I can't stop talking about it because of how this has really changed our lives. It’s the best day of the week for us, for our whole family. It’s the best day of the week every week and we cannot wait for it to come. It's so restorative and helpful on so many levels. It's just a wonderful rhythm to put in place.
So one lesson that I have learned and it's kind of the theme of this episode is when you rest and you block off time for rest, play naturally follows. We have so much fun with the kids every Saturday that we're observing the Sabbath. That's usually when we play card games, board games, we will go on hikes, we will jump on the trampoline, we'll kick around a soccer ball in the yard, we will watch a movie. We just play so much as a family and that does wonders for us individually, but also it's like we're hanging out with our favorite people and it's really sweet.
I was talking with my friend Cheyenne about legacy and this idea of legacy. We were going back and forth on Marco Polo and she was saying, “I want to hear you talk about the fun side of legacy.” And it got me thinking because leaving a legacy really can be fun and what practically does that look like? What is that? How does that play out in our lives as we are living out our days with our children and our husbands and wanting to leave legacies that are meaningful and eternal and lasting? A lot of the memories that will stand out to our kids and our families are the fun ones. They're the playful ones. They're the restful ones. They're the ones of us being on vacation together or the ones where we're just spending time together and we're not in a rush to go anywhere or do anything.I loved that thought and I've been thinking about it ever since we talked about it. Just how rest, play, legacy, fun, memories, all of those things are wrapped up together.
So I just encourage you today and this month as you listen to all the episodes, if you feel exhausted, if you feel tired, if you feel like your life is made up of work all the time and you don't know how to rest or you feel like it's an impossible ask, I just encourage you to just sit with these episodes and listen and make the smallest changes, even just to incorporate more rest and play into your lives. Know that God is a God who delights in our rest.
I’m going to close with words by Brené Brown. She said,
“It takes courage to say ‘yes’ to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol.”
I hope you have the courage this week to say “yes” to rest and play. Thanks for listening and I hope you enjoy of all the episodes this month on the theme of rest.
