237 - Abe Lincoln
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Show Notes:
Abraham Lincoln said,
“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the ax.”
Well, I had this thought: What if we took that quote and applied it to motherhood? I thought of a few examples, but not many. But man, when I took it to Instagram and my email list, you guys delivered! I have a whole list of ways that this quote can apply to motherhood and you are in for a treat. Get ready to make your life a whole lot more practical and easier in this last “May is for Mamas” episode.
For the full episode, hit play above or read through below.
Before we kick off this episode, I wanted to let you know of a new resource I have been brainstorming and working on in my own life and that is a Legacy Checklist. I know that sounds maybe a little too practical for a legacy, but bear with me while I explain what I’m thinking.
So, there’s a lot of things going on in our hearts and minds as mamas and a lot of ways that we want to leave a rich and lasting legacy for our family and for our kids especially. But there’s a whole practical side to it, right? How do we organize our will or our photos or you know, all the practical stuff? Where do we keep passports and birth certificates? How do we organize our household and the things we need to take care of in one place?
I have come up with this concept of a Legacy Binder where I can put it all in the same place. But it’s not just the practical things. It’s also things that you want your kids to remember you by. Your favorite recipes and letters that you’ve written them. It takes some hard work, but I kind of put together a checklist for your legacy that you can kind of start working on. Check yourself, see if you’re in the right spot with the practical side of your legacy. Let me just say, even if you don’t get this checklist or do anything in the practical side of it, the legacy you’re leaving for your kids is how they feel when they’re around you, how you love them, how you impart faith to them. So it doesn’t mean that you’re not going to leave a legacy if you don’t do these things. But it is a way, I think, to love your family and your children even more, to have those practical things lined up. For me, I think about these things in the back of my head. I want to make sure everything is organized and well thought out. So I thought I would just compile a list and create it for you.
So you can go to nancyray.com/legacy to download a free legacy checklist to see if you have those practical things in order.
Okay guys, this is going to be a fun episode! I’m so excited! I threw this idea out there and was like, “I have no idea if this is actually going to work”, but it did! Let me just say, it’s all because of you amazing listeners who are subscribed to my email list, who responded on Instagram. I’m going to give each of you credit as I read your responses.
I’m going to open it up with my first way that I like to sharpen my ax, if you will, in motherhood. This can fall in a lot of categories, alright? It could be just for you as a mom. It could be how you take care of your kids. I will say, there is a trend that I saw. A lot of this had to do with meal preparation. Let’s be rea;. That takes up so much of our time as moms. All in all, these tips are so good. So before I share mine, I want to just tell you. You’re probably going to have to listen to this episode twice to get the most out of it. I highly recommend that you have a pen and paper with you while you’re listening to it, or your planner, or maybe the Notes app on your phone. I guarantee that you’re going to want to adopt at least two things that you hear on this podcast episode (probably more because there are a lot of helpful ones). So have something ready to jot down if you find that something applies to you and your life as a mom.
So the first one that I said (and I mentioned this on Instagram I think) is if you give me 30 minutes to blow dry my hair, I’m going to spend the first 20 with my hair wrapped up in one of those really absorbent towels because it cuts down on the blow drying time so much. I have really thick hair and I really do not like to wash my hair because it takes so long. So that’s my little offering that I’m going to leave with you.
Now I’m going to move on to the much better ideas that I got from all of you. I’m going to kick it off with my friend Sheyanne who said, “I premake all 20 sandwiches for the kids (she has 4 kids) on Sundays for the whole week. They each prefer them a little differently so I label each baggie by name. The secret to non-soggy PB&J is to lightly spread the peanut butter on both sides of the bread and then the jelly goes in the middle. They can make their lunch each evening for the next day in a snap by just grabbing their sammie from the freezer.” I have seen Sheyanne do this. Why have I not done it sooner is my only question? I’m going to be implementing this week.
Alright, Virginia said, “Try to pack lunches the night before. Set a cleaning schedule for the house.” Every 2 weeks, she cleans the bathrooms and she has a system she follows, which I think is really smart.
Emily said, “Do a daily load of laundry. This is not revolutionary, but I feel the pinch if I have to skip a day. Set out clothes the day before. Usually while putting away laundry, I set out four little outfits for whatever kind of day we’re going to have tomorrow (school, play, church, etc.) Getting ready every morning isn’t always a breeze, but this definitely helps.” She also runs the dishwasher after dinner, always and she empties it before she goes to bed, no matter how full or empty. “The emptying part of the habit has been so hard to build (I’ve tried it off and on for years). I rarely want to do it, but the difference the next morning is night and day. Walking into a fresh kitchen and not having to unload all the clean dishes during breakfast is worth it.” I thought that was so smart. I’m the kind of person who wants to pack the dishwasher full of every dish possible. But what that means is I usually run it at very inconvenient times.
Okay, Emily also said, “Regular purging of toys or even just taking them out of circulation. Little kids are going to spread the mess inevitably, but reducing the amount they can spread really helps us during clean up times. Pack school lunches for the next day while making lunch for the current day. My two oldest do a hybrid classical school like yours so I’m only packing them for two days a week, but I will always pull out their lunch boxes while I’m feeding them the day before because all the things are already out. Apple slices, cheese crackers, sandwiches are all ready to go into the box for the next day. Train the little ones to help. It definitely takes longer, but 4 hours of sharpening can take years. But giving them the skills that help the whole household is wonderful. I have finally seen the fruit of this in the last year or so in such a way that our Sunday resets as a family are SO productive. We all work alongside each other, but the children are making genuine and meaningful contributions. We all really enjoy the results when it’s done.” Amen to that. I am still in the training years and it can be very hard.
Also, I’m just going to pause and say that I am literally reading every single answer that came in. I think even the nuances or variations of making lunches or spending time with God are helpful. So you are going to get some repetitive stuff in this episode, but I want to show you the nuances of how moms do it slightly differently and how you all make it work for you. So just know that it’s going to be a little bit repetitive and that’s okay. I’m doing that intentionally.
Okay, Jessamin said, “I have been solo parenting since my husband deployed overseas in September.” High five to Jessamin for that. That’s incredible. “So I have worked hard to make a lot of things more efficient in our house. The biggest game changer has been food prep. I plan meals one week at a time and I prep so much on Sundays and Mondays. I chop all the veggies, make our loaf of bread for the week, brown the ground beef I’ll need later in the week, and we make an egg casserole. It has allowed me to be more present (which is my word for the year) to my toddler daughter, especially in the evenings when things can feel really tough. I’ve also started making different kinds of grilled chicken every Monday so that we’ve got chicken for lunches during the week.” I love that!
Meghan said, “My idea is give me a Costo rotisserie chicken and I’ll give you 25 dinner ideas.” Every time I go to Sam’s Club, I get a rotisserie chicken. It really is the best and it’s so cheap.
Okay, Laura said, “Give me 30 minutes to clean something in my house and I’ll spend 25 of it looking for the perfect Clean With Me video on YouTube. Give me 45 minutes to get in a workout and I’ll spend 30 looking on Lululemon for new workout gear.” Okay, this one cracked me up! What a real dose of how how we can be as moms, looking to do things the perfect way and spending so much time looking for the right vehicle to do it instead of just doing it. That made me LOL. Thank you Laura for that. Also, I’ve never heard of Clean With Me YouTube videos. Where have I been? Is this a thing? I’m gonna go look this up. I have no idea. I don’t know what a Clean With Me video is on YouTube, but I’m going to go look that up.
Okay, Anna said (she has 4), “Clorox Bleach Toilet Tablets. You put one in the tank every three months and you don’t have to clean the toilet bowl as often. Number two, reserve your favorite TV, YouTube, or podcast to watch or listen to while folding laundry, washing dishes, or doing other tasks you don’t particularly enjoy. It makes you not dread them so much and helps you to get work done more quickly. Number 3… I have 2 sets of fitted sheets and waterproof mattress covers on kids’ beds. Mattress cover, sheet, mattress cover, sheet. That way, if they have an accident, it’s quick and easy to take off the top layer.” That’s brilliant. “Number four, invest in a frost-free (ideally deep) freezer. You can double recipes to freeze for the future and buy in bulk. It saves so much time and money.” Those were all so good.
Mandy says, “I make a list of 8 dinners and I only make those for a three-month window, with the caveat that Friday is always pizza and Saturday is always leftovers. This means I don’t buy any crazy one-time-use ingredients. I never waste produce. Aldi and Costco bulk buy because I’ll make the recipe again in a little over a week. I’m never wondering what to make for dinner. I just pick out what’s on the list that we haven’t had in the last seven days. Breakfast for dinner is on the list year around.” I love this! Can you imagine only 8 dinners in rotation? That is so simple and also, I’m pretty sure that’s the only amount of dinners that my kids really eat anyway.
Rachel says, “My two cents for May is for Mamas would be the Mom Agenda. I’ve used one for years. You can go to momagenda.com to check that out. The layout includes four blank spots for your kids’ daily activities and appointments. You can use them for any category. I use the top main part for business and then in the four categories, I write in exercise, appointments, to-do, and family.” I love that practical tip and I always love a good planner recommendation.
Alright Court says, “My three kids were coming home from school and their things were all over the place. It was driving me insane. So we bought one of those 8 squares with the canvas totes or cubes. My kids each have two squares. The top square is for their totes and backpacks and the bottom is for their shoes. Now as soon as they walk in, their shoes come off and they know where everything else goes. We no longer have things all over our kitchen table and shoes scattered all around our door. This is giving me some of my sanity back.” I love this so much. We do something very similar. Court also says, “I have not been as consistent with this one and I need to be, but letting my kids choose their outfits for the next day the night before. This saves so much time the next morning. The decisions have already been made, there’s no whining or complaining that they can’t find that shirt or those pants. It gives my kids some autonomy too, in picking out what they want to wear (with my guidance of course) and removes major time delays in the morning.” I think that’s brilliant.
Alright, Ashley says, “I desperately need my morning quiet time. I get up around 5:00 every morning to pray, read, reflect, journal, and prepare for the day. I also find it very encouraging to find YouTube videos on the art of homemaking and motherhood because I’m a homemaker and a homeschool mom as well. So basically I try to start my days with the right heart posture. Of course keeping that posture throughout the day can be quite challenging. So sometimes, when the day gets overwhelming and emotions are flying high, we crank up some worship music and dance our hearts out in the living room. I have also recently discovered that I need my people. Mamas that are dear to me and truly encourage me. Beautiful souls that speak life into me and give me the motivation to take on this calling of motherhood with refreshed spirits and hearts.” I love that. Ashley said, “These are a few things that I feel sharpens my ax.”
Chaylee says, “Everything is based upon my mindset. So I do my best to spend time quietly before the Lord before the kids wake up. I’m currently in Bible Study fellowship, which provides daily devotion in the Word. But I think the real transformation comes through prayer and quietness before Him. When mom is choosing faith over fear, I believe less controlling and frankly, more fun to be around. I am a homeschooling mama and the key to a good day isn’t getting everything done off my checklist. It’s being at peace and mental rest with what the day throws at us. Thank you Sarah MacKenzie of ‘Homeschooling from Rest’ for this thought.”
Meghan says, “I get ready for the day while my kids (ages 4 and 8) eat breakfast. I can get ready about a million times faster without them popping in to the room with questions and stories. During my kids’ designated afternoon tv time, I can ask myself ‘What is hardest to do when they’re underfoot?’ So tasks like folding laundry or sweeping do not happen during that pocket of time. The looking over my plan for the week, reading, painting my nails, making a new recipe- those are definitely good candidates for that 20 minutes.”
Lauren says, “If I have 6 months to prepare for an international trip with littles, I will spend the first 4 months getting the family approved for TSA PreCheck and global entry.” I just want to give double high fives to Lauren on that! That was such a good one to think about. Let me just say… TSA PreCheck is totally worth the time and effort investing. Will and I have it and it is SO helpful when flying as a family. I love that so much. Lauren says, “We just did this for an upcoming trip to London and it was a process, but I know we’ll be so glad we have it when we can skip all those long lines.”
Bethany says she keeps a running iPhone Note with things or milestones about her baby or family so that when she goes to make a photo book each year, she just copies and pastes the notes into the correct photo book months. She also saves two sweaty workout days (like running or HIIT workouts) for her hair wash days. So good. She also hits the house chores hard Monday through Wednesday in combination with a simple or already prepared dinner. “Chores seem less daunting knowing that dinner just has to be warmed up. Then Thursday through Saturday can be focused on fun family time. Sunday is church, fun, and meal prep for the week. Meal prep these days is meat, veggie, and healthy carbs. That keeps dinner following no recipes, which saves a ton of time and ingredients cleanup to a minimum. All that to say, I’m in a season with a tiny baby so making really tasty meals is something my family doesn’t really care about right now. Maybe one day when I’m in a season of serving my children by making delicious meals and snacks, this routine will need to change, but during that season, my hands won’t be as tied and I’ll have more time to spend in the kitchen.” I love the insight into her having a little baby and how she’s kind of modifying things and making it so simple, batching all the meal prep and the chores together. This is so smart. You guys are so smart! This is so great.
Blair says, “I always pick out my outfit the night before.” Okay, I just want to pause and say that Blair sent this in and I love this because she’s only talking about herself. Let me just be real. I never really pick out my outfit the night before because I’m so focused on the kids so I just want to pause. I love this one Blair. This is so good! She says, “I always pick out my outfit the night before. Then in the morning, I don’t have to check the weather or stand in my closet and decide. I just put on whatever I decided on the night before. So maybe the quote would be, ‘Give me a morning that I’m running late and I’ll make sure to eliminate two steps that evening so that I’m two steps closer to on time the next morning.’” So great.
Alright, Tamara wrote in from Germany. She said, “Here are some ‘sharpen your ax thoughts.’ Whenever I have my sister’s kids over twice a week, I put some effort into making a tray of healthy snacks for the afternoon. It prevents everyone from getting hangry, which is the worst.
For our annual holiday trip, I set out a few occasions where we get dressed nicely and take some photos. I plan them thoughtfully, hire a photographer, choosing outfits and spots beforehand. The rest of the holidays will be salty hair shirts that the kids pick up, no make up (that way I can relax most of the time), but I also have some nice memories afterward.” That is so lovely. I love the forethought.
She also says, “I only bathe my kiddo once a week. The rest of the week will be showers. But, on the bathing day, I make that the mini spa so we get everything done that day (clip nails do hair, set out clothes for the week; you know, the logistical things). I let him choose an extra special bath foam and take some time for me to read a book beneath the tub while he splashes. It’s a win win.” So sweet- I love that!
Erica says, “Give me somewhere to be before 9:00am the next day and find me prepping all the things (clothes, shoes, bags, drinks, snacks) the night before.” Amen to that.
Meghan says, “Stocked car caddy with diapers, undies, changes of clothes, and wipes.”
Alright, let me just pause and say these are transitioning into the Instagram feedback. When you answer those little question boxes on Instagram, they give you like no space to really elaborate on your answer. So these are going to be very quick little answers that were smushed into an Instagram box, but you’ll get the gist of it.
Dena says she checks her own motives, habits, and ideas with the Holy Spirit. I love that.
Some of these names I’m not sure of, so I may not give all of you credit because I couldn’t figure your name out from your Instagram handle.
Another answer says, “Do a face mask while cleaning the bathroom. Pampering, along with my least favorite thing to do.”
Another one says, “Read topics related to my kids’ development (social, emotional, skills, and problems).” I love this because it really is sharpening your ax as a mom if your child is dealing with an issue. Guys, there’s a book out there on it somewhere. So why not sharpen the ax so you have all the tools that you need to help your kid face those issues or walk with them through it. I love that one.
Andrea says, “Spending time in the Word before my children are up for the day.”
Danielle says something similar. “Reading the Bible, cutting out socials during the day, coffee with husband in the morning before the kids wake up.”
My friend Alaina from my Bible study chimed in. She said, “I make an online grocery order Sunday nights and pick it up after preschool pickup the next day.” I love that. I do something very similar.
Grace says, “Weekly plan on Fridays.” I thought this was interesting that she plans her week out on Fridays. She also packs a solid diaper bag for the car, grocery pickup, and she prays daily.
Someone else said, “Working on your own grief, trauma, and healing so that you can parent with a clear, full heart and mind.” Amen to that. I just appreciate that answer so much because I feel like it took it to a deeper level.
“Go to MOPS (mothers of preschoolers), be in my community of moms, book many appointments in the same week.” I love the idea of batching all your appointments together.
Noel says, “Take time to write out my monthly calendar before the new month.”
Kristin says, “Just avoid drama mamas and gossip.” That is a great way to sharpen your ax and be more present.
Someone else said, “15 minute resets in the house make my anxiety drop and settle my day. Also, crockpot shredded chicken every Monday for a variety of easy meals during the week.”
Someone else says, “Check my expectations and priorities daily. If I’m exhausted, everyone loses. Rest is a necessary gift. Putting myself last means everyone else gets my worst, so I put myself first in small ways.”
Lauren says, “Taking care of my own body and soul so that I can be my best. Exercising and reading my Bible.”
Mimi (shoutout to Mimi) says, “By getting around other moms, just sharing ideas of what works and what doesn’t.”
Kayleigh says, “Make three entrees and three sides during naptime on Sunday and eat it for dinner the rest of the week.”
Elizabeth says, “Great communication with my husband of expectations, plans, breaks, and strategies.”
Guys, that was it! I know I just plowed through those. It was dense and it was a lot of really great, practical advice. I just first want to say thank you so much to everyone who took the time to email me and respond on Instagram. You really made this episode. It would not have been possible without you so thank you so much. I’m so grateful.
Happy May is for Mamas guys! This wraps up the last episode and I’m so glad you were here along for the ride. Thanks so much for listening to episode 237 of Work and Play with Nancy Ray.
I am going to close today with another presidential quote because why not? I thought that this was such a sweet quote from George Washington about his mom. He said,
“My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am, I owe to my mother. I attribute my success in life to the moral, intellectual, and physical education I received from her.”
I don’t usually talk at the end of my podcast episodes, but I just want to pause and encourage the mamas listening as we wrap up May is for Mamas. The impact that George Washington’s mom had on him changed the course of history. If you’re living in America, obviously it has changed our lives forever. So don’t doubt the impact that you are having on the world as a mom, as you raise your children, bringing them up in moral, intellectual, and physical education. Don’t quit, don’t stop, keep going and know that I see you and I am here to champion and encourage you. Happy May! We’ll see you next year in May is for Mamas. Thanks for listening!
