My Favorite Parenting Tool

Nancy Ray Parenting

Get ready! This is a gamechanger. For you, the parent, as well as your kiddos!

It’s called “Mind Body Soul Time.

I learned about it from an online course called Positive Parenting Solutions by my friend Amy McCready, and it’s been so incredibly helpful for our family. (PS. This is not a sponsored post - I just really believe in this course and have benefited so much from it personally!)

Here’s how it works:

Each parent gives each child 10 minutes of Mind, Body, Soul Time, twice a day, every day.

No phones.

No distractions.

The kid gets to choose how they want to spend their 10 minutes with you.

The other kids get to wait their turn.

Set a timer, and give them your COMPLETE undivided attention! Play, laugh, listen, and just be with your kid.

That’s it!

Here are the benefits we have seen:

  • Milly has done less “acting out” to get attention. She knows she has our attention once or twice a day, and it has really diminished her negative behavior.

  • Lyndon gets the reading and playing time that Milly got when she was her age! And honestly, that probably wouldn’t happen if it wasn’t planned into our day. Sad to say it’s true, but 2nd kids who are easy-going certainly don’t get the attention the first born kid did!

  • Milly and Lyndon are less jealous / needy of their time with Mama with the new baby.

  • I feel more fulfilled as a mother, knowing that even if it’s only 10 minutes, I am listening, in tune with my kids individually, and not distracted once a day.

We certainly don’t do this perfectly every day, but whenever we begin having behavior issues, we go back to this. If we consistently implement MBST for 1-2 weeks, we immediately see a difference!

As I learned from PPS, the two main psychological needs of a child are belonging and significance. When both parents give their children this undivided attention, it fills their belonging and significance buckets in a major way. When those basic needs are met,

Tip for parents of lots of kids: Aim to do this with each kid once a day instead of twice a day! Or maybe make it your weekend tradition if you can’t get it into your routine. Give yourself grace when first trying it, too. In our major life transitions (like recently having a baby), we try to do it well once a day, and we give ourselves grace when we don’t get to do it. The point is this: don’t give up and not do it at all! It’s better to have MBST with each child than having none at all!

Have you tried this before? Or do you implement something like it in your family?