102 - Eliminating Decision Fatigue
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Show Notes:
It is estimated that the average adult makes about 35,000 remotely conscious decisions each and every day. That's crazy. 35,000 decisions a day. And of course, every decision we make, big or small, carries certain consequences with it.
When we feel overloaded by too many decisions, our ability to make good, clear decisions decreases, which is called “decision fatigue”: basically we just get so tired of making so many decisions. It doesn't matter how strong or smart you are. Your brain just says “I'm done today.”
I want to ask you simple question and let you in on a few ways that I'm trying to actively eliminate decision fatigue In my own life.
For the full episode, hit play above or read through it below!
Before I begin, I just wanted to say a heartfelt thank you to everyone who listened to the 100th episode of my podcast, a few episodes back, and then sent in all your warm congratulations about baby number four. We cannot believe it. We're so thankful. We're so excited and honestly, if I can be super transparent, this podcast on some weeks has kind of been hanging on by a thread. I have been so tired and it's just been hard to finish them, but I made it through! We’re still here, and we're just so grateful, grateful for you.
We’re so excited about this baby and I just wanted to say thank you and I just truly appreciated every single DM and comment and email that I got. So thank you. You guys are seriously the best.
So as a mama of three little kids with one on the way, I'm pretty sure I'm not so much in the 35,000 decisions a day category, but more in the like 45,000 to 50,000 category, because I'm not just deciding things for me, I’m deciding things for all three of them as well. Like what to feed them, and what they're allowed to watch, and how much screen time is okay, and what is their schedule for today, and what is it going to be tomorrow, and should I fold laundry this morning, or should I wait until this evening, and have we turned in all their preschool papers, and has Milly finished her kindergarten work, and did I even brush my teeth this morning and on and on. You get the picture.
Ultimately, I just want to train them to be their own little decision-makers like we talked about back in Episode 099, but the truth is, they're five, three, and two, and they can't make their own decisions yet.
They need a lot of mama's help and hand-holding still, so I feel like my brain is especially maxed out on decision-making every day. And I think that's why I've been thinking about this so much. I've just realized, I really want to fight to keep my mind sharp. I want to fight to keep my head clear so that I can make wise and good decisions for myself and my family.
And that's hard to do some days, but I think it's worth it. And that's why I've started asking myself these questions. Like how can I eliminate decision fatigue in my own life? And that's what I want you to ask yourself: How can you eliminate decision fatigue and your life?
And remember ‘decision fatigue’ is that official term for when you're feeling overly stressed by the endless amount of decisions that you've had to make throughout the day.
And when you're feeling decision fatigue, you just become terrible at making any decisions, much less good decisions. You're just like I can't, your brain is like, I can't make any more decisions. So for me personally, I found there are two ways that really help me take authority and think clearly, and become a better decision maker, about little decisions and big decisions in my life.
The first one thing is sleep, and the second thing is systematizing things in my life.
So first I'm going to quickly address sleep. That is self-explanatory. You and I both know when we get enough sleep, we are lovely humans. And when we don't, we become emotional roller coasters slash monsters. No, not you, maybe just me. Hopefully not just me, but hey, if it is just me, it's fine.
But the bottom line is point number one: sleep, and how sleep affects your decision-making is, is real. I'm not going to spend a lot the time on that. Honestly, I'm excited because we're going to talk a lot about sleep next month. At the end of the month after we read the book, Sleep Smarter for the Nancy Ray Book Club in March, I'm really excited about that.
And we can dive more into the ramifications of getting good sleep then, but what I really want to focus on today in your decision-making ability is—yes, sleep is important, it affects me greatly—but the second thing I think that has the most direct impact on my decision-making ability is how I'm living my life, and if I have habits in place or systems in place where I've kind of already made the decisions.
So after I've really been thinking about how, how can I eliminate this decision and fatigue? That's the answer. It's just, let's go ahead and make a bunch of these decisions beforehand, set it into motion, and go. We live life. Those things are already decided.
And I've been thinking about this so much that right now, my goal in life is just to simplify and systematize everything I can. I have been a business owner for 13 years and I was all workflows, systematizing things, making things like you know, just, they flow. This is the process. I mean, we had like a seven-step process in the business for everything. And I'm realizing now in some capacity or another, it's not an exact translation, but in a lot of ways I can do that in my home.
I can do that with my kids and I can make some of these decisions ahead of time. And that way, when I'm in the moment, the decision's already made and they're taken off my plate. Therefore I become a better mom, a better decision maker. And I don't experience as much decision fatigue.
I’ll give you a couple examples. One is that we have a packing list we use every single time we travel. Every time I print it out, mark it off, I edit it and add things to it if we need to. But it's pretty much the exact same. Every time we have that system we follow. It's left on the counter, Will and I both can consult the packing list. I don't have to brainstorm or think about what we're going to pack each time. I don't have to use that mental space of just thinking about it and we also, in addition to that, just normal packing lists. We have this separate mega camping packing list for whenever we go camping, and that packing list is just a beast. I mean, it's got so many things because when you're camping, there's so many little things you have to remember to make your lives more convenient. Bottom line is with those two lists, my decisions are already made before we start packing. I don't have to think about it.
P.S. I am going to leave links to both of those packing lists in the show notes of today's episode (scroll back to the top), in case you want to copy them and make some of your own, because it's just a simple way to systematize your life.
So I just want you to start thinking strategically about ways that you can do that. One thing I've realized this year—this was kind of an unintentional benefit of the Contentment Challenge—but I've realized it has been a huge reason. I am loving the Contentment Challenge so far this year, when I see an ad on Instagram or something thing pop up or whatever, my decision's already made. I might like the thing, but I can’t buy it. I can write it down in my notes, on my notes app on my phone if I really, really want it, but I just table that decision for later. I don't spend any mental space on making those decisions of whether or not I want to buy this thing, whether or not it's worth spending the money on. My decision is made: I’m not shopping right now, moving onto something else.
Man, it is so freeing. It is so freeing to know that those decisions are already made. No shopping for these first few months has been a huge elimination of decision fatigue, which has been so great. I don't know if you felt that way, if you're on the Contentment Challenge, but it's like, I don't even have to decide what I want, I just keep living life and it is so great.
So anyway, I want you to just start thinking, ask yourself this question: How can I eliminate decision in my life? What habits—daily habits or weekly habits—do I want to set into motion so that I don't have to think about what I'm going to do today. Think about what I'm going to wear or how I'm going to exercise or what I'm going to make for dinner or whatever it is that consumes your mind on a daily basis.
So I'm just going to share five areas of my own life that I've been attempting and working through systematizing. I think for you listening, I want to be very clear and say this, you don't have to do exactly what I'm doing. I want you to just listen to this, to get your wheels turning, to get yourself thinking "Where are the areas in my own life, where I'm just spending way too much time in my head, thinking about what I should do during the day.” And then you tackle one area at a time.
So what I don't want to happen is for you to listen to this podcast episode and be like, “I'm going to go simplify and systematize my entire life in like all 10 of these areas now.” I just want you to choose one to start. But I want to share five of things that I've been working through for a very long time now. And I'm definitely not perfect, but it's just good to think about.
Okay, so the first area is meal planning.
Personally, yeah, I despise meal planning. It is not fun for me. I don't really love shopping or meal planning, at least right now. I'm really trying to love it more. I will say this though, one way that I've really enjoyed or, or tried to enjoy it more is to kind of create a method to it all and, and get these habits in place. So the first thing I've done to kind of systematize this is I've made a list of our very favorite family meals to choose from, so I don't have to think about it. I don't have to brainstorm, “Oh, what do we want? What do we want? What do we want?” I just look at the list and say, “What haven't we eaten?”
Well, second thing I do is I plan five dinner meals for me to cook every week, plus lunch and breakfast staples that we just rotate through, and the other two nights a week, we usually just eat leftovers or we might go out or get Chick-fil-A.
The third thing is I try to look ahead to my day and the meals for the day in the morning, which allows me to put some frozen chicken in the crock pot, or look ahead to dinner time. So I'm not scrambling in the dinner time hour.
And then the fourth thing is I make my kids' lunches the night before, and most people do this, I feel like, but for me, when I started doing this, it really made my life so much easier. Also my kids go to school like two days a week, and one day is deli meat day and the other day is hummus day, and Milly's the only one who's allowed to eat peanut butter in her classroom. So she'll get peanut butter and honey or whatever she likes on one of those days, but I've already made the decision of what I'm making them for lunch.
So those are ways I've kind of systematized simplified my meal planning. So a lot of those decisions are kind of made for me at one time. Still working on that, but those are a few ways.
Okay. The second area I have worked on is my beauty and style.
So what I mean by that is basically just how I dress and how I present myself with hair and makeup every day, which can be a battle some days. So I want to talk about beauty, which is more like hair and makeup for me.
This routine can last a really long time if you let it. But recently I have just been asking like, how can I do my hair in a very effective and quick way? How can I do my makeup in a very effective and quick way? And I've been setting a timer and my goal is to do it in 10 minutes or less every morning.
So another way that I'm pretty efficient with this is I wash my hair once a week. I know that sounds crazy, but I do. I've trained my hair and yeah, by washing my hair one time a week, it really eliminates just the time and hassle. And then by setting a timer each morning to do my hair and makeup in like 8-10 minutes, I feel so accomplished and I feel much more together. And again, systematizing, choosing those things ahead of time has really allowed me to actually show up and put on hair and makeup. I don't do it every day, but it allows me to do that in a way that I just I've taken the thinking out of it. I'm like, okay, I'm just going to do this real quick.
I also give myself one or two no makeup/wear a hat days a week. Like I just pre-determined that I'm not going to do it today. And that's fine.
So for style, I think pairing down your closet, capsule wardrobes are really big. I don't do a capsule wardrobe, but I don't have a ton of clothes comparatively. I feel like, I mean, I still have plenty of clothes, but I feel like I don't have a ton. And I think keeping only clothes that fit is super important.
The next part of my plan for going ahead and deciding this so that I'm not like, what do I wear today is that I want to choose 10 outfits that are cute, that I love to wear, that fit me in this season that I'm in right now, and I'm just going to rotate through those. I think I’ll maybe hang them in my closet or maybe write them on post-it notes. I don't know, just so that I can just take the thinking out of it and just grab them and go. My goal in all of this is just simply. To think less about what I need to do to get ready every day. I don't want to think so hard about what I have to wear or how I'm going to do my hair and makeup. I just get up and I grab them and I go and I look good and I feel good.
The third area I'm working through is my work.
This is hard for me right now because I don't have childcare. I have little kids who don't go to school very much. My work is very limited. It comes down to this podcast and some online educational content, and I've been super tired. With that said, I think it's even more important that I am systematizing this and prioritizing this and thinking through it strategically, instead of getting overwhelmed by it. So the first thing I try to do is I prioritize everything I have to do with my work.
At the start of the week, I make a master list of everything that has to get done this week to move things forward in my work, towards my goals. Then having a routine to start your work time for the day. Now, some days I don't work at all because they are mom and days. So I don't do this on those days, but on the days where they're in school and I have a little three hour chunk to work, I look at the master list and then I write down the three priorities or maybe one priority for that day. And that's it.
I stick to those things I'm super focused and productive then. And I think that's a huge point is just not allowing yourself to access social media, unless that's part of your plan for that day. Not allowing yourself to get distracted, but really focusing down and then implementing a “shutdown complete” routine, which gosh, I think I talked about this in like episode two of this podcast so long ago, I think it was in my rhythms of life podcast, but basically having a routine, like a rhythm where when you're done working, you say “shut down, complete.”
You've glanced over your emails. Nothing is urgent. You've written a list for the things to do the next day. You've closed your computer. You say it out loud to kind of signal to your brain: “No more thinking about work I'm done.” And I love that little ritual. I honestly, again, full transparency, being pregnant, having little kids at home, these work habits and rhythms are something that I am still working towards. I feel like I was way better at it when I was running my photography business 'cause I just had a lot more help in childcare, but I think still applying these tools to the small amounts of time that I have would be good and helpful and beneficial for me and take a lot of the decision making and stress out of it.
The fourth area is my house, especially in regards to the clutter and tidying of rooms.
So what I like to do is I like to choose one project either for the week or for the month, depending on how big the project is to focus on our clean out. And then daily, we try to make our bed, have the kids clean the playroom, a load of laundry. And you have certain times of day that signal to you: “Okay, it's time to do this thing.” Right when you wake up, you make your bed. You know, maybe it's at lunch that you put in all the dirty laundry. Maybe it's after the kids go to bed, you fold, whatever it is that works for you, that's what you do. And you just get those systems into place.
And then the last area is exercise: taking care of yourself, moving your body.
I think the times I've been most successful at this have been the times where I have literally written them into my weekly calendar. Like Monday, Wednesday, Friday, these are the three things I'm going to do. This is exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to do weights or I'm going to run or whatever it is, scheduling it into your days. Again, it takes the thought process out. Do I work out today? How do I dress today? If it's in your calendar, you know how to wake up, get dressed, you know what time you're going to work out and exactly what you're going to do. So just pre-planning it, I think is the number one thing that helps me actually get out the door all-in-all.
I want these areas just to get you thinking. These areas of my life, that I've been working on to just get you thinking about your life and the things that you spend too much time thinking about so that you can think about them less, do more and live the life that you want to live without being bogged down by so many decisions. It comes down to really, habits. I mean, weekly, we do the meal planning, we do the work planning, we do the house projects. Daily is the meal prep, you know, the planning ahead at the beginning of the day, laying out the clothes, tidying the room, routines, exercise.
So you just have to figure out what works for you. Get those rhythms into place so that you don't have to think so much about what you need to do that day.
Last thing I want to say is why even talk about this? Why even focus on this? Like, life is full of decisions. And I think for me, the two biggest reasons that motivate me to just analyze this and think I really want to get better at this is, first, so I can be truly present with my people and my brain doesn't feel so tied up with what I should be doing or what I have to do, which is a real struggle for me, but if I can streamline things and get things on certain rhythms and it's got a system to follow, I can be more present.
The second reason that really motivates me to do this is so that I can love the Lord with all of my mind, and scripture tells us to love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. And this to me is being strategic with your life and loving him with your mind and thinking: How can I free up my beautiful brain to do all the things that God wants it to do?
You know, you have to shift with the season you're in. I feel like you have to constantly reassess this question and someone listening who is 52, or it's going to have a totally different life than someone listening who is 24. If you have little kids, if you have grown kids, you have no kids, all of this is going to be different and that's okay.
You just have to re-ask yourself this question: How can I eliminate decision fatigue in your current season?
So I just want to encourage you maybe to come back to this and know that it's going to look different a few years from now, and that is okay.
I wanted to leave you with one more resource. Back in Episode 086, in case you missed it, I talk about writing your Ideal Week, which is an exercise that you can do to kind of put some of these habits or rhythms or systems into place. And you can grab that free download and write out your own ideal week by heading to nancyray.com/idealweek.
Also side note. I know I already talked about March’s book club book. I'm really excited about the book club line-up this year. Sleep Smarter is in March, but April's book club is Atomic Habits and it's all about habits. And I have heard so many good things about this book. I feel like this episode is the perfect foreshadowing to March's book and April's book because it's going to be so great.
And basically by the time we get through all of that and we're in May and we've read those books, we've listened to the episodes, we are going to have such clear minds and get good sleep and have such good habits. Really excited about it all-in-all. I hope this episode has encouraged you to systematize your life even in just one way, because the result is a clear mind to be fully present, where it matters most.
John Maxwell said, “Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.”
Thanks for listening.
